dont know what to do

hi everyone , im not used to writing in forums but im struggling at the moment to get over a breakup , so just wanting to hear has anyone else gone through a similiar thing. I was diagnosed with gad about 10 years ago but never truly understood it or really got any help for it until recently. i went out with my now ex for and year and a half and to cut along story short , i never knew how bad my anxiety was until the breakup.. i broke up with her ( now i know it was my anxiety thinking at that time) it broke her heart and for 2 months after that we continued to see eachother i kept telling her we are just friends and she should go find someone else to make her happy as i couldnt, after all that she did end up finding someone and even though i told her to , it fully messed me up!!!! so now all said and done i was struggling so bad with it i knew it wasnt normal so i got in touch with a therapist who i still go and see now once a week. my point is what ive come to realize through seeing my therapist is that for all these years ive ruined and missed alot of oppurtunities becuase of this anxiety disorder with me believing it was just the way i was and not knowing it was very abnormal!!! whats made me come here to ask anyone for thier opinion is that im stuck now, im obsessed now about my ex and how now when i look back it is so true that 90 percent of the problems in our relationship were due to my disorder and nothing to do with her or how i felt about her, so she told how much i hurt her and how she feels used and unloved by me for most of the relationship , which i now know was never intentional i was so consumed with worry and stress and living in my own mind that i really did not be there for her emotionally or for that matter never showed my love and affection which at the moment is destroying me. its been seven months since the breakup im still obsessed and hurt how i didnt see how much i was hurting her and how i ruined a relationship with a girl i actually really loved but still decided to breakup because it was so stressed at the time. going to the therapist has really helped me see how my disorder not only affects me but also the ones around.. a few months ago i contacted her to apologize about my behaviour and how she was right about everything , and she told me her love died for me because of all the mistakes and hurt i caused, and now she has a chance to be happy with someone else, which really kills me... i so want to explain everything to her now about my disorder and how it wasnt my fault or intention to hurt her or make so many mistakes it was illness doing it not me , i had no controll over it. so now im stuck on what to do i havent heard from her in 2 months and im trying to move on and forget about her , but it seems like i cant and im obsessed about how my disorder pushed her away and ruined what we had. has anyone ever dealt with something like this??? thanks