Help with Fear

Helloooo

I was wondering if I could ask a question about whats been happening recently with me?
And see if I can get any answers

Im 19, happy girl, always have been~
However when my father left my mum when I was 17, i had a bit of mild depression and was diagnosed with anxiety...it was really weird...i always felt like a cloud was hanging over me...i had panic attacks and stuff (it also didn't help that I had a heart condition)....

So I always FEARED a lot And I didn't enjoy that!

Anyway After some months I WAS BETTER No more panic attacks~ and I'm health heart-wise...YAY!

I now live with my friends and doing College.

Sometimes, I still feel a little off.

I still FEAR things that I shouldn't....okay, no Im going to tell this weird story xD

Sometimes I might see something, like a sentence, or something scary....and I get this FEAR that Im going to think about it again and again It sucks. ITS LIKE i have no confidence in my mind. Like i will remember these things I don't want to remember...and I can't control it?

Even know I can But someimtes the thoughts just sneak in....

This has been bothering me...on and off for the past 2 days....
I saw a sentence in a foreign language on Facebook, but I thought it said "c**t Jesus"
Im a christian so i was like WHAAAA???!!!! A swear word about Jesus D: But then I looked again and it was just something foreign xD Haha.

But anyway ;_; I had that fear that I will keep thinking about those two words......and I have been D:
Just randomly. AND I DONT LIKE IT. I might just be doing normal things and I may remember those words Im sure I'll forget about it eventually....but i don't like those two words being together. because I don't want to think that about Jesus....Just keep remembering them, far off in my mind....I don't really understand.

In the past when I had in Anixety, I knew it was the FEAR of it that was making me freak out. Its the fear of remembering something i don't want to - and that fear is making me keep remembering those bad words D:

Whats up? I want to have confidence in myself. In my mind. So I can do things without remembering stupid things as this? I always think Im overreacting but WHAT?

Any help? O: Thanks

Hi, Sprocket! You could go to your regular doctor and ask them to send you to a therapist or look for someone good online. Take a look through the OCD forum a bit if you like but keep in mind that no one here can diagnose you.