Introvert, Inner-world, Frustration, Questing, etc.

I'm not sure if I'm not the right topic or board for that matter but I do have some concerns about the way I think. I am a deep thinker and introvert. But I don't like it because I am not practical or spontaneous, which is where I believe true natural intelligence lay.

But I'm more of a spiritual person. I would rather read a book on the universe (impractical) than read a book on growing my own business (practical). * See where I'm going?

I don't do much, other than work (what I'm supposed to do) and when I'm not doing that, I'm just sitting at home doing nothing. I get frustrated because I am not like other people, where other people - from the time they are born - are natural, they have friends, they socialize, at the same time they get things done and they achieve abundance. Not to say I don't achieve, it's just that they are out doing the thing and I'm sitting here thinking about it.

I feel like something is wrong with me. I used to watch a lot of television when I was younger, and I never grew out of that television-mind. Like I am always observing things, rather than engaging them. I am always watching, rather than doing. I am always thinking, rather than making memories. I am always imagining, rather than creating. I'm not practical.

It seems like everyone around me has a natural, uninhibited spontaneity (practicality), and I am the only one thinking about my existence for extended periods, instead of just simply being, I have to think about my being.

This is extremely frustrating.

What makes me this way? Can someone help me pick my brain?

Firstly, introverts are amazing.

I find that I think these very same things quite often, and it’s completely normal! (took me forever to figure out)

Have you ever thought that maybe you are completely normal, that this is who you are and what you are supposed to be doing/thinking? I think almost all introspective introverts struggle because being extroverted is the media portrayed “normal”... but both are completely okay .

Personally, I struggled for many years thinking that I was odd for my deep, introspective thinking paired with my lack of desire to be more social. It’s taking me forever to completely accept that this is who I am and that I am completely normal for it (especially with all of TV/media displaying that you must be out there *doing* and *being* to be someone).

The only difference between you and I is that I prefer to constantly read about practical things; psychology, how something works, how to make something work, etc.

I am considered to be a ‘very attractive female’ who you’d assume by appearance to be very outgoing and social... I’ve always felt a tremendous amount of anxiety/pressure that people are going to find me peculiar because of how I am... but I’ve learned just to inform people... and guess what! I am much happier, I am becoming more confident with myself and I am now meeting more people that I can relate to.

I prefer deep, introverted thinkers to extroverted doers... so get busy accepting yourself! Soon you’ll start to view the world much more positively with much less anxiety/pressure.

You are normal. It’s great to be intellectually curious... do what YOU are good at doing, try not to worry about what anyone else is doing or compare yourself to them. Be the best you.

"A Few Famous Introverts
• Abraham Lincoln, sixteenth president
• Sir Alfred Hitchcock, film director
• Michael Jordan, basketball player and celebrity
• Thomas Edison, inventor
• Grace Kelly, actress
• Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
• David Duvall, golfer
• Laura Bush, first lady
• Bill Gates, software pioneer
• Candice Bergen, actress
• Clint Eastwood, actor/director
• Charles Schulz, Peanuts cartoonist
• Steve Martin, comedian/actor/ writer
• Harrison Ford, actor
• Michele Pfeiffer, actress
• Katherine Graham, late owner of Washington Post, author"

I want to mention that Abraham Lincoln also had some form of clinical depression.

The introvert advantage how to thrive in an extrovert world
Marti Olsen Laney

Disobedient wrote:Firstly, introverts are amazing.

I find that I think these very same things quite often, and it’s completely normal! (took me forever to figure out)

Have you ever thought that maybe you are completely normal, that this is who you are and what you are supposed to be doing/thinking? I think almost all introspective introverts struggle because being extroverted is the media portrayed “normal”... but both are completely okay .

Personally, I struggled for many years thinking that I was odd for my deep, introspective thinking paired with my lack of desire to be more social. It’s taking me forever to completely accept that this is who I am and that I am completely normal for it (especially with all of TV/media displaying that you must be out there *doing* and *being* to be someone).

The only difference between you and I is that I prefer to constantly read about practical things; psychology, how something works, how to make something work, etc.

I am considered to be a ‘very attractive female’ who you’d assume by appearance to be very outgoing and social... I’ve always felt a tremendous amount of anxiety/pressure that people are going to find me peculiar because of how I am... but I’ve learned just to inform people... and guess what! I am much happier, I am becoming more confident with myself and I am now meeting more people that I can relate to.

I prefer deep, introverted thinkers to extroverted doers... so get busy accepting yourself! Soon you’ll start to view the world much more positively with much less anxiety/pressure.

You are normal. It’s great to be intellectually curious... do what YOU are good at doing, try not to worry about what anyone else is doing or compare yourself to them. Be the best you.

Thank you both for your contribution.

But, can you really say that you enjoy the company of a person who doesn't talk? Do you enjoy the company of a person who is constantly, deeply involved with his own thoughts at least 23 hours a day?

Do you honestly feel comfortable with a person who absolutely NO subject matter; nothing to talk about?

I don't feel like I am functioning as a social human being, because I DON'T TALK!

Talk back to me...

But, can you really say that you enjoy the company of a person who doesn't talk? Do you enjoy the company of a person who is constantly, deeply involved with his own thoughts at least 23 hours a day?

No. I enjoy books. But fairly I would enjoy more the company of a quiet person than somebody who can't stop talking.

jwyatt123 wrote:

Disobedient wrote:Firstly, introverts are amazing.

I find that I think these very same things quite often, and it’s completely normal! (took me forever to figure out)

Have you ever thought that maybe you are completely normal, that this is who you are and what you are supposed to be doing/thinking? I think almost all introspective introverts struggle because being extroverted is the media portrayed “normal”... but both are completely okay .

Personally, I struggled for many years thinking that I was odd for my deep, introspective thinking paired with my lack of desire to be more social. It’s taking me forever to completely accept that this is who I am and that I am completely normal for it (especially with all of TV/media displaying that you must be out there *doing* and *being* to be someone).

The only difference between you and I is that I prefer to constantly read about practical things; psychology, how something works, how to make something work, etc.

I am considered to be a ‘very attractive female’ who you’d assume by appearance to be very outgoing and social... I’ve always felt a tremendous amount of anxiety/pressure that people are going to find me peculiar because of how I am... but I’ve learned just to inform people... and guess what! I am much happier, I am becoming more confident with myself and I am now meeting more people that I can relate to.

I prefer deep, introverted thinkers to extroverted doers... so get busy accepting yourself! Soon you’ll start to view the world much more positively with much less anxiety/pressure.

You are normal. It’s great to be intellectually curious... do what YOU are good at doing, try not to worry about what anyone else is doing or compare yourself to them. Be the best you.

Thank you both for your contribution.

But, can you really say that you enjoy the company of a person who doesn't talk? Do you enjoy the company of a person who is constantly, deeply involved with his own thoughts at least 23 hours a day?

Do you honestly feel comfortable with a person who absolutely NO subject matter; nothing to talk about?

I don't feel like I am functioning as a social human being, because I DON'T TALK!

Talk back to me...

Yes, 100%... there is something that I love which is called "comfortable silence". I am very quiet and always in deep thought. While I may enjoy the company of someone who talks nonstop for roughly an hour, I get drained and want to run for the hills soon after. I'd much prefer the company of a super intelligent, quiet deep thinker who only speaks when something needs to be spoken.

You are completely normal, if not extraordinary. Through proven research, many individuals with extremely high IQs tend to suffer from anxiety disorders.

Try to learn to accept yourself, you are a super intelligent, deep thinking, well articulated individual… just find people who enjoy this and share this quality with you. There are many, they are just hiding too .

Disobedient wrote:

jwyatt123 wrote:

Disobedient wrote:Firstly, introverts are amazing.

I find that I think these very same things quite often, and it’s completely normal! (took me forever to figure out)

Have you ever thought that maybe you are completely normal, that this is who you are and what you are supposed to be doing/thinking? I think almost all introspective introverts struggle because being extroverted is the media portrayed “normal”... but both are completely okay .

Personally, I struggled for many years thinking that I was odd for my deep, introspective thinking paired with my lack of desire to be more social. It’s taking me forever to completely accept that this is who I am and that I am completely normal for it (especially with all of TV/media displaying that you must be out there *doing* and *being* to be someone).

The only difference between you and I is that I prefer to constantly read about practical things; psychology, how something works, how to make something work, etc.

I am considered to be a ‘very attractive female’ who you’d assume by appearance to be very outgoing and social... I’ve always felt a tremendous amount of anxiety/pressure that people are going to find me peculiar because of how I am... but I’ve learned just to inform people... and guess what! I am much happier, I am becoming more confident with myself and I am now meeting more people that I can relate to.

I prefer deep, introverted thinkers to extroverted doers... so get busy accepting yourself! Soon you’ll start to view the world much more positively with much less anxiety/pressure.

You are normal. It’s great to be intellectually curious... do what YOU are good at doing, try not to worry about what anyone else is doing or compare yourself to them. Be the best you.

Thank you both for your contribution.

But, can you really say that you enjoy the company of a person who doesn't talk? Do you enjoy the company of a person who is constantly, deeply involved with his own thoughts at least 23 hours a day?

Do you honestly feel comfortable with a person who absolutely NO subject matter; nothing to talk about?

I don't feel like I am functioning as a social human being, because I DON'T TALK!

Talk back to me...

Yes, 100%... there is something that I love which is called "comfortable silence". I am very quiet and always in deep thought. While I may enjoy the company of someone who talks nonstop for roughly an hour, I get drained and want to run for the hills soon after. I'd much prefer the company of a super intelligent, quiet deep thinker who only speaks when something needs to be spoken.

You are completely normal, if not extraordinary. Through proven research, many individuals with extremely high IQs tend to suffer from anxiety disorders.

Try to learn to accept yourself, you are a super intelligent, deep thinking, well articulated individual… just find people who enjoy this and share this quality with you. There are many, they are just hiding too .

I have a very hard time accepting myself when I find my self-pity and other mental blocks affecting my life. There is no outside force causing this thinking. It is my own mind. Why am I like this? Why can't I accept myself, while others can accept their own self naturally? Why don't they reject their self like I do?

Its really not fair. And my thinking that its not fair, shows my lack of character and will to change my self. This lack of character I deem to be an 'ugliness'. I don't suffer from an aesthetic ugliness, but an ugliness of character that I cannot and will not take control over my universe. As a man (20), these standards are NOT acceptable.

I reflect on my life often. I find that I am nearly friendless and I am often in solitude. Why is it that I cannot dwell among like minded people as friends and companions without feeling left out? I am in solitude because that's what suits me. But I don't like that it suits me.

Isolation affects my relationships and friendships and limits my mind because I am not communing with others. Isolation affects my soul body and my emotional existence because I am not feeding myself the proper nourishment of friendship. But then every time I go and try to be my natural self, I am always led back to isolation, further deteriorating my mind, character and spirit. It's a cycle.

I cannot act and be around people without constantly watching myself. If I let myself go with out inhibition, I will do somethings extremely embarrassing or manifest my lack of common sense.

EXAMPLE:

In the doctor's office, the nurse told us to sit in the lobby. The other people that were told to sit, somehow knew instinctively that they were to sit on one side of the room. I for some reason, chose to sit on the other side of the room. The nurse instructed me to join the rest of the group on the other side of the room. At that moment, it made sense to me that for all of us to sit on one side of the room would make it easier for the nurse to do her job; when earlier, this obvious logic, or common sense had not crossed my mind. I reflected on this immediately. I was embarrassed slightly (not as embarrassed as I would have been when I was younger), I was also confused and irritated at myself because this was a very minute happening of my lack of common sense. Everyone else understood this common sense, but I did not. What the ###$ was I thinking about? Is my damn head in the clouds all day? GET IT TOGETHER.

That's what I told myself.

What type of woman wants such an undeveloped man like that? How can I be the head when I don't have no common sense?

jwyatt123 wrote:I'm not sure if I'm not the right topic or board for that matter but I do have some concerns about the way I think. I am a deep thinker and introvert. But I don't like it because I am not practical or spontaneous, which is where I believe true natural intelligence lay.

But I'm more of a spiritual person. I would rather read a book on the universe (impractical) than read a book on growing my own business (practical). * See where I'm going?

I don't do much, other than work (what I'm supposed to do) and when I'm not doing that, I'm just sitting at home doing nothing. I get frustrated because I am not like other people, where other people - from the time they are born - are natural, they have friends, they socialize, at the same time they get things done and they achieve abundance. Not to say I don't achieve, it's just that they are out doing the thing and I'm sitting here thinking about it.

I feel like something is wrong with me. I used to watch a lot of television when I was younger, and I never grew out of that television-mind. Like I am always observing things, rather than engaging them. I am always watching, rather than doing. I am always thinking, rather than making memories. I am always imagining, rather than creating. I'm not practical.

It seems like everyone around me has a natural, uninhibited spontaneity (practicality), and I am the only one thinking about my existence for extended periods, instead of just simply being, I have to think about my being.

This is extremely frustrating.

What makes me this way? Can someone help me pick my brain?

I know old thread but found this via google and it sounded like I wrote it myself so I was tempted to reply.

I've never been very social or loud always, quiet and introverted even as a child. children don't think about such stuff they just are. hence if you were like that as a child it is just who you are. But I've for very long just always thought I'm different and don't really fit in but just latley discovered I might actually suffer from a disorder. i'm not going to name it but list the symptoms and you might find like i did that it fits very nicely:

Emotional coldness, detachment or reduced affect.
Limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others.
Consistent preference for solitary activities.
Very few, if any, close friends or relationships, and a lack of desire for such.
Indifference to either praise or criticism.
Taking pleasure in few, if any, activities.
Indifference to social norms and conventions.
Preoccupation with fantasy and introspection.
Lack of desire for sexual experiences with another person.

I'm gonna say i anyway: don't self diagnose.

I'm more and more suffering from this lack of social skills. It is holding me back in my job and in my personal life. I've the feeling i might later regret having wated so much time doing useless stuff (TV). Bu tI don't know where to start. First there are very few people i actually want to spend time with and I have no idea what to do (see list above: Taking pleasure in few, if any, activities.). I think this is very important as it makes it impossible to initiate anything on my own as i have 0 clue what to actually initiate and with whom.

I also find it hard to see why people would like my company as I'm so quiet. I observer I don't contribute. That's why i basically never do something with just 1 other person. However there are these rare persons i feel very comfortable being with (either sex). I don't really know what it or why that is just that such people are extremely rare.