Believe I have GAD...please help me out

Hey everyone.
I'm new to this forum and, well, I need answers (as you can tell from my name). I used to think I suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, as a result from another health site forumer's unofficial diagnoses. Over the years, I have been able to fabricate how my abnormalties take place. Basically, it's like this: I think a scary or unwanted thought (of something happening to me, me doing something, me becoming something I don't want to be, etc.) and I just panic about. After reading up on some of these anxiety disorders, I do believe I have GAD and possibly social anxiety disorder as I do refrain from going to a store or making a phone call as a result of fear from social situations.
As I stated before, I used to think I had OCD. Honestly, I think I really did. I used to have to walk out of my room with the right foot first, flicker the lights a couple of times, walk of the bus with the right foot, brush my teeth before I take a shower, etc. I am a high school student, and unknowingly what to do, I went to my high school guidance counselor. He told me that there were treatments, both physical medicine and group therapy. He also told me I should tell my parents.
I did tell my parents and as it turned out, they laughed. It turned out to be more of an embarrasing situation. Yes, they care for me, but they know (to some extent) that I get nervous for no reason. So, I tried, with somewhat of a success, to cure myself. Whenever I had the urge to complete these rituals, I just didn't. After months, my OCD symptoms seemed to vanish little by little. However, I still had these compulsions in which I would hit my head, or even after long instances...yell or cry, to make a terrifying thought dissapear. Some last four weeks and go away then come back later. Some last for years and never go away.
Back then it seemed like OCD covered all these symptoms. Now, however, it seems like GAD takes takes a better fit. I feel uncomfortable sharing exactly the thoughts I suffer from but I will: Once I thought about how horrible it would be if someone harmed someone...then I thought about what it would be like if I harmed someone, till today I worry that I will in some way physically injure or harm someone. People calling each other "gay" is a common teen let-down. However, I once thought as I'm sure many people normally (at least once) do, am I a homosexual? From that moment I couldn't let it go. I kept having fears that I would become gay: I began blushing at men and so on. I can now tell you with certainty that I am not a homosexual as I have sexual desires for women and not for men, but sometimes this anxiety comes back. After seeing a horror movie preview(that to my luck said, "Based on a true story"), I've recently been worried about a demon taking over my body or making attempts to bring me away from God. I must admit, I'm not a devout religious person but at most points I do believe God exists and this anti-Christ thing really freaks me out! I tried to stop the compulsions but sometimes I still hit my head when these thoughts come through hard. I'm always worring about grabbing the scizzors in my sleep and stabbing someone. Unfortunately, even though I am a senior, I've never had a girlfriend. I'm not quite attractive and I do have a wild case of acne. I also may have problems meeting a girl because of the social anxiety symptons I explained earlier. This doesn't help defending myself about not being gay when arguing against the other side of my brain.
When having these thoughts, I do believe I receive panic attacks. I do feel tingly and my stomach curls up into a knot. Sometimes a headache is possible. It hardly ever leaves my mind.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you have advice for me.[i]

Dear NeedAnswers,

As my title suggests, I think that meds or talk therapy w/ a supportive therapist may help you. That is terrible that your parents didn't exactly take you seriously. They should. GAD is a very common disorder, as is social anxiety and OCD. More common than you might think. I have all of these things to some extent, mostly OCD and GAD. I do much better one on one w/ people than in large groups. Maybe you should try to limit yourself to that, also.

One of the meds used specifically for OCD is Paxil. Other anti-depressants may work as well, usu. in high doses. You should def. ask a shrink about being placed on some sort of benzodiazepine, such as Klonopin, Ativan, or Xanax. Ativan and Xanas are more short-acting and wear off more quickly, whereas Klonopin takes longer to take effect and doesn't wear off for 7 or 8 hr. usu. I need to warn you that some pdocs are VERY uneasy about giving out Rx for benzos, because they can be addictive after a while.

If you don't take too high a dose and are careful about how many you take in a day, you should be okay, though.

I once knew a guy w/ crippling social anxiety who benefited greatly from Zoloft. That and alcohol, LOL. You shouldn't worry so much about what your peers think of you, you should just worry about what you think of yourself. I know it's easier said than done. . .

I really believe that you should consider therapy, also. It may be extremely helpful to have a counselor to confide in and talk things over w/. A school counselor might suffice, but I would recommend someone in some sort of private practice most of all. Or at least in a group of professionals or w/ a partner or suite mate. That way you can have your choice of more than one of them. A lot of therapists accept payment on a sliding scale, or according to your income. Only once in a great while do you find one who accepts Medicaid( the insurance you have while on SSI or disability) but I'm assuming you are not on disability. Get your parents to pay for a SHRINK at least! Appeal to their good nature and compassion. Write a letter to them expressing what you did on this board if you have to. There must be a way to get thru to them.


Best wishes and hope floats,
moodyblues