Intro

Hi all,

I'm a 37 year old law enforcement officer and have been suffering from various anxiety related problems since I was about 20-21. I have done some therapy in the past and a lot of self help stuff and it's been a constant struggle, which is why I'm here now.

Oddly enough you'de think that I wouldn't be able to do the job I do with this condition. Quite the contrary. I'm able to handle very stressfull situations regarding arrests. My co-works consider me a calm officer during these situations(imagine that?). And am actually a firearms-tactics trainer for my department. But ask me to appear in court or sit in front of a panel of people for some sort of interview and I feel like I'd explode from painc. I have never been able to understand why an inrrational fear could have such a hold over me.

I have a mix of OD(obessions without compulsions) and social anxiety problems. It's tough and I sometimes have stretches when I'm sure it's licked. But it keeps coming back. I know I could make some lifestyle changes that would help me but find it difficult. Because of my job it's tough to share this with anyone because I don't want people to confuse my anxiety disorder with my job duties.

I can relate with so many of you here on this board. I sometimes feel beaten down by my disorder. I have accepted that I'll have to live with it but sometimes it rears it's ugly head for no reason. I have some social events that will be coming up in my near future and I just don't want to think about how I'll feel. I'd rather execute a warrant on a violent felon than stand up in front of people. One-on-one, I come across as very social and I think this only puts me in more uncomfortable situations. It sort of makes me feel like a fraud.

Anyway I thought I would post here and share with folks that might understand. I'm sure there are lots of poeple out there with wisdom on how to deal with this struggle.