GAD + depression

I'd like to write my story here (I'd like to note I've been unemployed since august but planning to go to college in september)

This started on mid-januari. I was watching the television and the sound was bothering me on certain parts (I think). This started on the television upstairs and then the television downstairs. This made it hard to watch a movie (relax) because I think alot about it when I'm watching a movie program. When it started, I felt a weird feeling on my shoulders (impending doom?) and kept thinking I would never get rid of the "bad sounds" (even ran upstairs on a certain movie and cried) Note: This isn't 24/7. Sometimes I'm watching something and 20 minutes in I hear it...There have been days I could watch from 20:00-24:00 (bedtime) with only slight worry about it....but not a lot.

Been to the doctor but I only told him I was hearing the television a bit worse. Gave me meds-> didn't work -> meeting with ear specialist -> He didn't know what it was -> next appointment he found out my right ear has a certain problem with low tones -> arranged an appointment for a scan and hopefully some kind of operation (All of this happened between end january->now the time between appointments makes it worse I think) I'm just not sure this is the cause for the anxiety I feel while watching television.

Anyway, along the way I started to get bothered by my computer mouse too. Only very slightly at the beginning but once my "television sound" anxiety was really bothering me, this also came in. I got a new laptop and I've been using the touchpad instead of a mouse and that's bothering me too. It's like I focus on it and whenever it makes the slightest slowdown/'wrong movement' I notice it and makes me trigger anxiety a tiny bit. I try to suppress the thoughts though...

Third and last symptom is some kind of big focus whenever a videogame/movie/television program has a tiny slowdown or "lag" feeling. Like a character would walk but his movement wasn't 100% smooth. I can notice that and it's a big trigger for anxiety. I hardly play videogames because of this and I can't simply ignore it.

I tend to feel sad when I see people using their laptop normally or play a videogame or just feel "normal" because I keep thinking "why can't I think/play/see normal anymore"?

Well, I was kinda feeling better this week (still getting bothered by television sound or mouse movement or the third symptom) but then suddenly the following happened: (yesterday)

My mom asked me if I could go and get the pizza's from the "Pizza Hut" with my brother. I agreed and went to his car. He turned on his loud "rap/rock" music (which actually makes me feel better..It's like the sound problem doesn't happen with his car audio system and I can just blank my mind) and we went off. Collected pizza's and went back...This was when "it" happened. My thoughts suddenly changed and made the following thought "What if I could notice unsmooth movements of objects in real life?" and suddenly I kept looking at moving cars or buildings...I couldn't unfocus....I'm positive that these "unsmooth" movements don't happen IRL but I got an anxiety attack just because I was focusing on this I think. Really weird

It only began when we arrived home and I kept thinking about it and suddenly focussed on my brother/mother moving in the house. Then I just got a major anxiety attack while eating. I felt like I wasn't really hungry anymore...couldn't even watch television anymore....This took about an hour or more.

Now I keep thinking about this. What if I can't leave the home without this "focus problem" anymore? it's like I'm going crazy because of it. My parents and brother keep talking about how I am going to college in september and how their work was etc,.. while I'm stuck with these thoughts. It's really hard to relax like this.

PS: I have had epilepsy and epileptic attacks when I was young and my twin brother died before birth (I survived), don't think these are any reasons though. (epilepsy has been gone for over ten years)

PS2: I've been reading about "smoot pursuits" and "hyperfocus". The first thing seems like slighlty related to the unsmooth movement problem but I'm probably wrong. The second thing seems to happen with ADHD people...