Ping Pong Anxiety

I don't know how else to describe it.

I am nervous and jumpy a lot, and I have had anxiety/panic attacks due to exam stress or social situations I am severly not comfortable in, like on buses, in crowded places, giving a presentation in front of my class and so on...

But sometimes anxiety is building because of my thoughts, not thinking of worry or fear, but because there are just too many thoughts bouncing around my head, and if I'm having to make sense of what's going on around me and I'm supposed to be thinking, it becomes a little like trying to make sense of white noise, like hundreds of ping pong balls, and it's all just noise and chaos and I can recognise that if I'm supposed to respond to something, I do know how, I just can't find the how to manual in all the noise. Then lo behold, it's all developed in a full blown panic attack.

These are the worst, because they happen the most often, and there is never any direct stimulus, and they happen in class, at work, when I'm out with friends, when I'm on my own. At least being anxious on buses because of the closeness of a bunch of strangers, the fact that I can't escape easily, and my unreasonable fear of the bus tipping over, I can just avoid getting on a bus most the time. But these white noise thought ones, short of cutting out my own brain, I can't really avoid.

I did go to the doctor, and he prescribed Bedranol, and it's done a little in terms of feeling nervous all the time, but not much else.

Anyway, I don't know what to call it, "ping pong anxiety". Hah.

H.M.

Hi, Howlin Mad! Have you ever tried to just concentrate on one thought or on your breathing and letting go of the other thoughts, when you feel something like this coming on? Maybe your professors would understand, if they know that you have anxiety. Are you having therapy too?

By the time it's all happening, it's near impossible to focus on any kind of thought. I found the most successful thing is to visualise 3-D numbers, focus on shading and colour. It's just a matter of being in a non-demanding situation at the time, otherwise I panic quicker because I realise I'm starting to lose control of the situation.

I've requested to start seeing my therapist again. I half want to see her again, but half someone else because then it's a new start and I don't have to go through everything going "I lied about this, this was the truth but not all of it, I lied here, and here, and this was me being fully honest, and this I completely blanked you when you tried to ask about it, sorry."

Is your therapist good? If she's worth it, you will make her understand, just do it in a way that makes you more comfortable. It's her job to be understanding, after all.
Hmmm, maybe a picture or object that you could get used to focusing on (and that you could keep with you) might be helpful. What do you think?