Unfaithful

Life always bites me in the butt.
I have had a relationship with a guy on the internet for half a year.
He is very attentive to my feelings and i like him.
The problem is that i told him about my cancer scare for some years ago.
I had some cell changes that got detected on an early stage and was removed, so i don`t have any problems with it any more.

Being a doctors step daughter i naturally get concerned about everything regarding health, so when i discovered that this cell change came from a virus i got anxious that i would give it to somebody and didn`t have sex for almost a year.
I went to a gynaecologist who told me that i had nothing to fear.
The thing about doctors is that they don`t always give you enough information about what is going on, so i mistook some of the information for being more serious then it really was.
The information you can find about this virus on the internet is very scary and it makes it looks as if its a very serious thing to have.
The information is also very confusing because it says that the virus contracts and becomes non contagious in some incident's.
I find it complicated to talk about this problem with him. I have tried to tell him that i don`t have any problems with any more. I have said that we can go to a doctor if that is going to calm his nerves.
He didn`t answer.
Its complicated to explain about this virus so i will leave it out. I have already tried to explain to him about it, and i feel as if he doesn`t understand what i am trying to explain which is why i suggested that we go and see a doctor.
I am sick and tired of trying to explain something that wasn`t really necessary to explain in the first place, i asked my doctor if i had to tell new partners that i have had cell changes and he said no. Cancer is not contagious, and the doctor removed all the bad cells and there fore also dis activated the virus.
Many people have this virus in their bodies without ever knowing about it.
The only way you know about it is if you get cell changes(because that is what this virus does).
Men are the bearer of the virus and give it to women, they very seldom get any symptom's from it.
They can get a small rash from it, but that doesn`t mean that they will get prostate cancer.
In worst case scenario they can get prostate cancer-but like it said, this is very rare.
Most men get cancer because of age or inheritance.
If a guy gets rash it might indicate that the virus is contagious, it can take 3 months before a guy gets a symptom.
I was with a guy for over 3 months and he never got anything. No rash, nothing.
So i think that my virus became in active because they got it on an early stage.
I had some rash that i couldn`t see before they removed the parts that was infected, then i went back to the gynaecologist and he said the rash was completely gone. If it hadn`t been he would have told me to get more treatment.
It says on the net that the rash can cause itching, i never had this.
The information you get on the net is if its full blown and has gone undetected for a long time and has had time to grow.
So there fore this information does not concern my case.
Its very difficult to explain this for him.

The reason he heard about this incident that happened to me for almost 4 years ago(and i haven`t had any problems with it since), is because i had mentioned it on a forum.
I told him about my presence inside a forum because he was curious about me, and i wanted him to see some of the things i had written there about my family life and my struggles.
I wish i hadn`t written about it and his anxiety makes it even worse for me to go out and find someone.
Does anyone have any idea what i can do?
I don`t have any one to talk to in real life, so that`s part of the reason why i wrote about it on the internet. Another reason is that the doctor never told me about complications regarding birth, and so there fore i had a new encounter with the virus a year after my treatment, when another doctor told me that i had to have some assistance to get pregnant.
So to calm myself down i wrote about it on a forum.
I feel disappointed that the one guy who said he would carry me threw everything in life, now has chosen to abandon me.
I am an adult woman and have no childish needs for a second father in my life. I was just looking for someone to talk too when i met him. I liked him from the start and really wanted to have a nice conversation with him.
In the beginning i didn`t think that he was that into me, but then he started to say that he had strong feelings about me, and so we got very emotionally attached.
For me to have this attachment after break ups with both work, parents, friends, social network and old boyfriends, meant a lot to me.
I felt like i didn`t want to rely on him to much, but he kept on insisting to be there and in my soup.
That gave me confidence to speak to him and open myself.
We had many conversations about many things on the internet.
For a few days ago he said he loved me and was planning to see me this summer, then all of a sudden he is dating somebody else???
I have been working hard to give him explanations about the virus and my life in general. We got to know each other from a distance.
He always says that he is interested in me and want to become intimate, but i have understood it that he was too busy to see me, and there fore became satisfied about hearing he wanted to come and visit me.
Now he has suddenly taken a u turn. I know he tried to understand the issues regarding the virus and everything else that has been going on in my life. This is why i appreciated him so much. Now i feel as if he didn`t appreciate me at all and only saw me as a potential virus giver.
I feel stepped on, put down, and lack off all confidence. Does anyone have any idea what i can do?
I know you would probably say that i should find somebody else, but its just not that easy.
He is a celebrity and i feel as if i have been "hung out" in front of many people.
He has been leading me on all this time and i was a fool to believe in him.

Hi,

Maybe I can help you a bit... I studied microbiology and am doing research in cancer. With illnesses - and just about everything - people have misconceptions. In your case, it's obvious that this other chap/guy has misconceptions about the virus that you have. I can also relate to you with attachments and liking someone across the Internet. Emotions can grow really strong, as I'm sure you're aware already. With regard to your situation specifically, I'm not sure that it'd be best to try to pursue it. If this guy is not willing to change his view about what you have, then why bother trying to make him see the truth...? You'd just be wasting your time, time that could be spent moving/advancing your life forward to better things and people.

I say that because there will be people in your future who will understand your situation better. They will accept you for 'who you are'. That term - 'who you are' - gets used a lot but it's so very important that we find people who do indeed accept us as we are. When we don't find them - and/or bump into someone who doesn't understand us - then it's ideal to just move on and away from them.

If he is still leading you on, then take the upper hand in the situation by just leaving. You don't have to say anything to him... just leave and be done with him. Let him see that he cannot use you as a pawn in his life. You're much more than that.

Kevin

Chucky wrote:Hi,

Maybe I can help you a bit... I studied microbiology and am doing research in cancer. With illnesses - and just about everything - people have misconceptions. In your case, it's obvious that this other chap/guy has misconceptions about the virus that you have. I can also relate to you with attachments and liking someone across the Internet. Emotions can grow really strong, as I'm sure you're aware already. With regard to your situation specifically, I'm not sure that it'd be best to try to pursue it. If this guy is not willing to change his view about what you have, then why bother trying to make him see the truth...? You'd just be wasting your time, time that could be spent moving/advancing your life forward to better things and people.

I say that because there will be people in your future who will understand your situation better. They will accept you for 'who you are'. That term - 'who you are' - gets used a lot but it's so very important that we find people who do indeed accept us as we are. When we don't find them - and/or bump into someone who doesn't understand us - then it's ideal to just move on and away from them.

If he is still leading you on, then take the upper hand in the situation by just leaving. You don't have to say anything to him... just leave and be done with him. Let him see that he cannot use you as a pawn in his life. You're much more than that.

Kevin

Life is full off misconceptions, whatever the reasons could be.
I don`t have a problem with what i had any longer, so i don`t need neither treatment nor advice about it.
My doctor said i was problem free and that is all i need to know. The "relationship" ended naturally for its own sakes, so i don`t need to worry about that problem any more.
Thanks anyway for offering and answering, you are very kind and sweet L.