A LIFE OF ANXIERTY AN DEPRESSION IN A THREAD

OK , im a clinical depressive an a cronic anxierty sufferer, i dont care who you are if you have cronic anxierty it always leads to depression. As a kid i new there was some thing wrong , bad nerves let to exema, an ananoid probs, later boils an things brought on with your body being always run down. No help no one gave a $#%^ , my old man was an in denile depressive who would answer nothing you asked him about mental illness.He when to his grave telling me nothing an i not fogive that,as you get olded you stun yourself with alchol the first line of defence. Do crazy out you ######6 box things to reLeave the pain.your in your own world there is no two ways about that an only you can come in it. you have the black dog on your shoulder licking your ear always ready to ###$ you up.You get a job an your a bag of $#%^ ,your brain carnt cope an is in constant melt down, you liturally want to $#%^ yourself 247. I used an still do drive my cars on the limit as a buzz to nuke the bad $#%^.if you crash you crash so what at least you didnt blow your head off.Its not all doom an gloom we have meds like ativan that turn you into i dont give a ###$ guy. also your depression lift,s now an then so i suggest you be as mad as a frog in that time because itwill be comming back for you sooner than later .I have raised my kids through this $#%^ they just think in a cool dad that goes on one every now an then. But i have been in mental hospital an believe me you dont want to be in there, the patients are cool it the doctors thats $#%^. how can they treat you for something they have never experienced themself.Just try an find a med that gets you to about%70 thats about the best you will get an dont keep swapping for a new drug. There near on all the same but with different side effects.i believe you have to except a bad deal an get on with it there is some good with the $#%^ now an then an i have tried the suicide an flatline $#%^ an there is nothing at the end of that tunnel they talk obout only crying an cold.So i dont think i will be looking down there again, MANIC666

m666,
Whoa! I have been through hell and back.. No meds and meds and a couple psych wards.
The is not 1899, this is 2010, the people who work there, do so because they want to.
Many have experienced something.
When you go in a hospital, You need to be just as open minded about what is going with you as
a regular doctor.
If you have a bleeding ulcer, the doc would have to talk to you, look deep inside your stomach: confirm it.
Then decide with you what is the best plan for healing the wound.

Wounded human beings often come on the whole forum, and express their pain. and then some get stuck.
Others stop screaming, just once to listen and they move forward.

I never have had a smart idea or made a smart move with alcohol in my system. As soon as I recognised this,
I no longer bothered with the stuff.

At some point, hopefully through a good therapist or a hero, you realise that someone has heard you. and
told you that you have every right to feel the way you do. which m666 you do.

But then you can choose to right your ownself, you are now self aware completely and can take
responibitlity for your own behavior, life and how you live it.
hope this helps somehow.
peacce to you,
Red

manic666 wrote:OK , im a clinical depressive an a cronic anxierty sufferer, i dont care who you are if you have cronic anxierty it always leads to depression. As a kid i new there was some thing wrong , bad nerves let to exema, an ananoid probs, later boils an things brought on with your body being always run down. No help no one gave a $#%^ , my old man was an in denile depressive who would answer nothing you asked him about mental illness.He when to his grave telling me nothing an i not fogive that,as you get olded you stun yourself with alchol the first line of defence. Do crazy out you ######6 box things to reLeave the pain.your in your own world there is no two ways about that an only you can come in it. you have the black dog on your shoulder licking your ear always ready to ###$ you up.You get a job an your a bag of $#%^ ,your brain carnt cope an is in constant melt down, you liturally want to $#%^ yourself 247. I used an still do drive my cars on the limit as a buzz to nuke the bad $#%^.if you crash you crash so what at least you didnt blow your head off.Its not all doom an gloom we have meds like ativan that turn you into i dont give a ###$ guy. also your depression lift,s now an then so i suggest you be as mad as a frog in that time because itwill be comming back for you sooner than later .I have raised my kids through this $#%^ they just think in a cool dad that goes on one every now an then. But i have been in mental hospital an believe me you dont want to be in there, the patients are cool it the doctors thats $#%^. how can they treat you for something they have never experienced themself.Just try an find a med that gets you to about%70 thats about the best you will get an dont keep swapping for a new drug. There near on all the same but with different side effects.i believe you have to except a bad deal an get on with it there is some good with the $#%^ now an then an i have tried the suicide an flatline $#%^ an there is nothing at the end of that tunnel they talk obout only crying an cold.So i dont think i will be looking down there again, MANIC666

smalltalkred , i am aware of the year, its 3 since i last when in the hospital, an that was an overdose do to bad third world $#%^ doctor. I live in england not america,they have all are shrinks we get the $#%^. Admitted i was self meding on 12 ativan a day an a bottle of brandy.the reason why , another locom shrink had done a runner to another hospital an didnt fill my notes.My next appiontment was set for 10 week,s an i was a priority, they had no doctor,s. When i got to see one he stopped the 12 ativan cold plus the brandy, now the loss of 12 ativan is enough to kill me with seziures but the dork put me on 225mg effoxor within a week. Now tell me they no what there doing. Iam alive through my gp giveing back ativan to detox slow, not any mental hospital that sign,s up the cheapest guy of the plane from god knows where. If i hadnt bluffed my way out of that ZOO i would be dead

sorry I just postedd and lost it my reply to you.

I am truly sorry that you do not have the help and support you deserve and need. I fought all my life for mine.
you are right you would have to detox from the ativan.
Klonopin is for anxiety long term and has a long half life in your blood stream. u might want to check on it.
I don't think it is expensive and has a generic.

Hope this helps,
Red

manic666 wrote:smalltalkred , i am aware of the year, its 3 since i last when in the hospital, an that was an overdose do to bad third world $#%^ doctor. I live in england not america,they have all are shrinks we get the $#%^. Admitted i was self meding on 12 ativan a day an a bottle of brandy.the reason why , another locom shrink had done a runner to another hospital an didnt fill my notes.My next appiontment was set for 10 week,s an i was a priority, they had no doctor,s. When i got to see one he stopped the 12 ativan cold plus the brandy, now the loss of 12 ativan is enough to kill me with seziures but the dork put me on 225mg effoxor within a week. Now tell me they no what there doing. Iam alive through my gp giveing back ativan to detox slow, not any mental hospital that sign,s up the cheapest guy of the plane from god knows where. If i hadnt bluffed my way out of that ZOO i would be dead

My meds are free on the NHS in England. but you only get generics. I get sertraline which is generic zoloft , klonopin has a longer half life than ativan ie loz . But its just as additive long term as ativan , the daddy of benzo,s is xanax,1mg equals 20 mg valium, as ativan is 1mg to 10mg, valium. I am stable on 4mg of ativan so will be on them for life. I go to the mental hospital on 6 month check,s an have an open appointment any time i crash. but i would sooner walk on brocken glass than go in there . Read my other posts like hospital madness