Over-thinker/Always Negative.

It is SO nice to hear someone else say it! I honestly thought I was the only one. Like, every symptom you have read, I am going through. The "googling" things, I totally do. If you look at my history, it's flat out ridiculous…
I think it is social anxiety. I also think we think differently from other people…maybe this over analysis of character is a gift because we can see through people's #######4

this sounds exactly like me. i have also come to the conclusion that it's me against my mind. i know this is very late, but if you happen to see this please respond b/c i am curious as to how you are doing now, as i as well have been struggling with this issue for my entire life it seems like. it's SO frustratingly hard to control my thoughts no matter how hard i try. although, i have not yet tried telling a counselor or a doctor. that sort of really scares me, but may be a good idea.

I know exactly how each and every one of you feels all too well. A little about myself, I grew up in Bosnia and was born during the Bosnian war, my family and I moved to the U.S. when I was 8 years old. My parents used to beat me with a belt anytime I would do anything they considered wrong, skip school, disobey them, etc. They didn't know any better, this is how they were raised and the way they raised me. Once I got older, I started thinking about the memories I had as a child while living in Bosnia and I realized I couldn't even count them on one hand. I found this strange, being in my early 20s and not being able to remember things from when i was 7 or 8. I started to researching and found out that this is common with children that have lived through a war. Even though It was in the first 4 years of my life, it stated that I must have had a lot of anxiety as a child and suppressed any of the negative/stressful memories I had as a child. Which, looking back seems to be a lot of them. The first time I realized I couldn't remember much was when I was back in Bosnia visiting and hanging out with my childhood friends who were my age. They started talking about old times and this cat my grandma had and how I always had to give this cat a hug and kiss before we went to school and I sat there thinking this can't be because I have no recollection of this. Then as I got older, I realized that I would confuse stories that my parents told of my childhood thinking that they were memories I had.


This is turning into a very long post but I have so much to say on this issue because in the last year I've really started to see how much of a problem this is for me. I would always over think everything, even when i was 10 years old. I would worry about things a normal 10 year old wouldn't worry about, such as my parents finances, even though there was no sign of trouble I would always ask how much money they had. My dad has a negative attitude, he always finds a problem when there isn't one and over thinks everything to the point that he makes himself miserable. When he is upset, he makes everything everyone else's fault as well. I believe that this is where most of my issues come from, my mom always says I am the spitting image of my dad when it comes to my attitude.

To further explain my problem, I was in a relationship from 19-21, I broke up with him because I thought that I was no longer happy with that relationship. I would always have to be in control and he would let me. Then 3 weeks later I got into another relationship which lasted a year. In this relationship, I too had to be in control and he would always try and make me happy. No matter how crazy I would act. I think that's why I didn't realize how irrational I could be in most situations. Then I broke up with him as well because at the time I thought things were boring with us. After a few months, I tried to get back together with him and we went back and forth for about 8 months, on and off. He had found another girl that he would spend time with and he said we were the opposite of each other. She was easy going and laid back, which he liked a lot. I tried so hard to get him back because I thought that when I was with him I made a huge mistake and that I was much happier then. Not realizing that I was just masking my issues because I had someone there for me all the time, even when I would be acting crazy.


I met someone shortly after that, that made me very happy and that's when I let my negative thoughts ruin it. He had an ex girlfriend that was gorgeous, and even though people told me that she wasn't prettier than me or better than me, I didn't let myself believe it and all I thought about was him going back to her and how much it would crush me. We went to the movies once and she was in front of us and I flipped out on him when we got into the movie and wouldn't talk to him because I thought that he was looking at her. I even went as far as to break up with him even though I knew I wasn't really breaking up with him for real, I let him think I was because I think it felt good to have him beg me not to. I eventually ruined that relationship because I kept doing things like that.

I also over think everything from how long it takes someone to text back, to if they don't use smileys in their text when they usually do, I think that something is wrong and they just won't tell me what it is. I also think that my friends like their other friends better and that they hang out with me when those people aren't available or when they have nothing better to do. I don't let them know my feelings about this because I know it is crazy and even though I know that, those thoughts still pop up in my head.

I am even second guessing posting this post because I am afraid that someone I know could read it and realize it is me by my username and judge me for it. That's another issue that I have, over thinking what others think of me and what they say about me.

I just recently graduated with my bachelors and have been working full time now for three years. I am constantly worried that I am going to fail at everything I do, even though I have done well for myself, I feel like I haven't. I've let my shopping habit be a band aid for my issues. I buy clothes and shoes to make myself feel better even though it makes me feel worse about the amount of money I spend on those things.

I constantly worry about losing my job and not being able to support my shopping habit. I feel like if I'm not worried about something, that there is something wrong and I should be or something is about to happen because I actually feel happy and that just can't be.

I never realized how serious these issues were until a year ago. I even had a panic attack for the first time ever a couple months ago because I got so worried about a lot of things I ended up in the ER and convenient care 2 days in a row.

This is not a way to live and no one should go through this. I am trying to fix my issues but I refuse to get on medication because I know that it would just mask what I really feel inside and I have to be the one to fix the issues myself.

So to everyone that is feeling lost, like I have been..trust me you are not alone.

Thank you. I'm 31yrs old...and in my heart, I've always felt that something was troubling me. I've always had issues with depression....and anxiety. Your post made me realize that setting an appointment to speak to a psychologist was NOT a bad idea. I'm very anxious and scared to take that step buf I'm honestly tired of trying to "fix" myself on my own terms.

Reading this helps me as well. I am on Effexor and can't seem to cope without it but really get relief when I take a clonazepam when I am really just stressed out. I have all of those voices in my head as well that no one likes me and I hate myself for how negative I feel. I have to constantly listen and read things that make me feel good about myself-I believe the anxiety Exacerbates my insecurities. I always had problems in my younger years with stress and anxiety, so I know that it has always and may always be there. I use techniques to combat those voices just by not reacting to the thoughts, as well as when I am in that mode, I listen to Tony Robbins or something positive. Making lists of my good things and accomplishments, it seems like the only way to combat the bad thoughts. I get those out also in a journal, and purge them. I have a tendency to turn the things people say into something that is negative for example: If someone doesn't do something regularly to show me they care-say my best friend, then I let them know they aren't being a good friend...wow a great way to have NO friends eh? Or I find that my expectations of people are just way too much-call me if you care, or do something for me if you care....it's seems that I am let down by people all of the time, I know this is totally wrong....I have to represss that knee jerk reaction to get mad when someone doesn't do what they say there are going to do everytime...Anyway all of the stories people have told here I can totally relate to...it's an uphill climb, and as I get older I learn better to squash the bad thoughts and invite the better ones...hope this helps. Thanks for the posts.