Over-thinker/Always Negative.

Omg. you and I sound like twins. i really needed to read this today. i havent even read any of the replys because i wanted to say to you that i am the same exact way and thank god im not alone. this thing we go through in our minds is killing me. i really feel your pain. kinda lost all of what i wanted to say so i'll leave it at this.

Really glad that I found this forum.
The title and what you provided in words really spoke out to me.
I can't help but feel depressed and worthless like there is nothing
to look forward to in life.
Not enough to take negative drastic action upon myself,
but enough to lower my confidence to the point
where I don't even love myself.
It's a bummer feeling this way so often. I find human connection
and company really helps mend my issues.

I am the same exact way. I am always thinking and it is always negative. I have basically have no friends because I tend to think that if they don't talk to me or text me that they don't like me. They claim that they miss me and what to hang out with me, but I have a hard time believing them. I am glad I found this post. I feel a lot less alone than I did before. I was convienced that I was the only person who constantly think negative. I also over think things and I also tend to take things the wrong way. I don't believe anyone when they say that I did a good job or if they think I am pretty. Pretty much everything is a lie in my eyes. I am glad that I am not alone.

Im a thinker, so thinking is not a problem for me. Thinking in away that causes social unmanageability is a problem.
Ive learned that If Im thinking about what others might be thinking about me or Im thinking about what Im thinking about others, I've lost the connection loop. The connection loop starts when I walk over and talk to the person about how they are feeling. I by pass my thinking and go to the person.
I can create giant fantasies about the way I think it should be. Or I can learn a new way..

ITs easy to judge. Im learning that I have to stop all judgment, it is illogical... I have feelings about someone because of what I think they are thinking about me. When dealing with people, I have to interact with them and leave the judgement thinking out...

"over thinking, over analyzing seperates the body from the mind"

I know everyone's said this.. and I know everyone keeps saying that but it doesn't change the fact that I can agree 100% and can say you're so not alone. I met my current boyfriend 2 and a half years ago and my goodness it was rough. I've almost ruined our relationship and had it end because of everything everyone's said. I would definitely agree with calling this anxiety mixed with trust issues (at least for me) The one thing I would suggest is trying to find the source.. ask yourself WHY must I always be in control? WHERE did this come from? Think back to your past, I guarantee you'll find some answers there. I can tell you that I like to always be in control because my life was always out of control. I hate not knowing things because if I don't know something - I can't control it. Furthermore, if I'm in control I can't get hurt. And that's something that I have a huge issue with. That's where the trust issue plays in. I was raised to never trust people. If you trust people they will hurt you. I'm still battling with this issue today. For the most part I trust people, but on a more intimate - personal level, I have immense difficulty. I have the worst time trusting my boyfriend because I don't like the feeling of not being in control. I hate the feeling that he has my heart in his hands and can either crush it or take care of it. My issues stem from self conciousness. I'm overweight and my boyfriend is rather attractive (in my opinion lol) - 23, 6'2", in good shape, becoming a police officer. Me? 20, 5'3" overweight, in university for teaching. There's nothing "sexy" about me. I think about my weight and appearance 24/7. So when it comes to trust I'm ALWAYS thinking he'll find someone he works with who's fit, sexy, etc. annnd you know the rest. But it's up to me to let go! lose control! and TRUST that he LOVES ME and wouldn't do that. I was the same weight when he met me so *clearly* he's not bothered by it (at least I hope?) Anyway, I digressed a little, but it still fits my point. Figure our the source of your anxiety, trust issues, control issues, etc, and then you'll be able to work on controlling them and being happy! You can't ever be happy when you're always analyzing things. It's GOOD to think. But you, me, and many others, need to learn how to TURN OUR BRAINS OFF for a minute! Enjoy the sunshine, genuinely trust, open our hearts, get hurt and learn how to become stronger. I'm no where near perfect, but I'm working on it. (I don't want to sound like I'm bragging..) My boyfriend is honestly my savior.. He showed me that love is worth concurring my fears and that if I CAN'T then I won't ever be able to love or BE loved. I know this post is beyond long however I hope some can relate and I hope I've been able to give some sort of help. Don't open doors you don't plan to walk through yet.. and "dimitte et inspira" (release and breathe) <-- future tattoo I might add

- Jessica

Wow, I'm just reading all of these replies now - I'm not sure why I didn't get a notification about them but either way it's awesome to come back to this post almost 3 years later!!

Thankfully I can say that things have really improved for me. I can't pinpoint exactly what caused my improvements, but I will try and explain some of the changes I have made in hopes of helping anyone else out there. First of all I would recommend reading the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It talks a lot about the negative mind, which it refers to as the "ego" and how we can listen to the ego and acknowledge it without buying in to what it's telling us. I've learned to control my thoughts a lot more, and just live in the moment instead of trying to predict and plan every situation I will face in the future. It may help that I'm single now, although it's only been under 6 months since my last relationship. But I'm currently really embracing being single, focusing on bettering myself before I can be in a relationship. Reading inspirational quotes also really helps me on a daily basis, the website tinybuddha (dot) com is a great resource for quotes and articles about positive thinking and living in the moment. Buddhism in general is very connected to living in the moment and freeing yourself from negative thoughts. Although I wouldn't consider myself a Buddhist, I definitely look to quotes and teachings to help me on a regular basis. Lastly, I have been slowly weaning myself off of Effexor. I am currently down to 37.5mg, and when I wrote this post I think I was at 150mg. So if you are on medication I would suggest you consider lowering your dose, or changing the drug because different things work for different people.

I hope everyone else is seeing improvements in their state of mind. I am happy to see that so many people have went through the same things I have went through, but it's also sad to think so many of us were/are suffering. I wish you all the best <3

ella_b wrote:• When I’m trying to go to sleep there are so many thoughts running threw my head that I have to consciously tell my mind to stop so that I can go to sleep. Otherwise I would be up all night worrying/analyzing.

...& how exactly do you do it? I am up all night doing just this.

"Do you find yourself regularly waking up around 3 or 4 am each night? Next time this happens, remember this poem from Rumi and don't go back to sleep. These hours before dawn are when you are close to Source, and a great time of inspiration and creativity. Put your feet on the floor, get out of bed, feel the morning breeze, and listen to your inner thoughts." -Dr. Wayne Dyer (on his Facebook page)

May I suggest two things that worked for me, and is still working for me. It's simple, practical, and easy to do. First, listen or read Dr. Wayne Dyer. He is so phenomenal at helping people to see the world in a different perspective, that help heal you and your life. He is the most comforting, and wise man to listen to especially at time when you are lost.
Second, write in a journal. Write about your feelings, your worries, how your day is, anything that can help you vent off your negative energies. This can help tremendously, you don't have to take it out on anyone else and it can help you work out your thoughts. When you write things down, especially the ones that keep repetitively occurring in your mind, you may find that afterwards they start to disappear or dim down.

I hope this helps, and that you find healing and peace along the way.

Dubie and all others.

thank you for your posts and wow it is the first time I read about similar symptoms from another person. I am not sure if it was a very lonely childhood with some physical abuse, my parents used to beat me with a belt when I was a kid. But I have exactly the same symptoms overthinking-overnegative-overnervous etc. all this has been a life long burden. I can not even control my mind with stressful situations I do not sleep and have to take medication. In my youth my mind led me to drug addiction and 15 years of my life just blown away! My tinnitus I guess as a result of not being able to deal with stress does not make it easier BUT I have decided to change my life and work on it:

- I moved from stressful Germany to Dominican Republic a sunny country with an easy lifestyle culture I am aware that not everyone can do this but maybe the next two steps help:
- I started running 3 times a week - it helps a lot to heal my mind and release stress - more positive thoughts!
- tapping is probably the best advise I can give you click the link http://www.tapping.com/
and check the free videos section.

As a matter of fact sports and tapping has been very helpful to control my moods. I am 6 years clean! I am able to work again and be more social. Hope my advise can help someone : )