Commitment phobia

Hi guys I'm 27 i am currently on 150mg effexor. I have been struggling with anxiety for almost 10 years when i was 18 in a relationship i suddenly felt uncomfortable and unsafe so i left her broke her heart. Then a few months later i overdosed and i woke up with panic attacks every day and for years it went on different meds etc while i got my anxiety under control i tried to date but everyone i saw i ended up hurting and backing off one guy even came into my work starting a fight apparantly he was her new bf. I didnt do anything intentionally i never had sex or tried. It was just dating. After that i have not tried anymore i came close to someone i really liked but that didnt work out. I don't know what to do anymore i tried talking to my psychiatrist when i was there but i think he just wanted to discharge me for my anxiety and forget my other problems. Fyi basicaly i get close to someone then i get the living $#%^ scared out of me from going on a date or meeting up. Forever to be alone i think

Have you tried seeing a therapist for this? Also have you taken any screening tests for a personality disorder or anything?

Hi i mentioned it numerous times
Kept saying its my anxiety.
My stepdad was borderline id die before i go down that road. He went untreated and lets just say im the result probs idk. I just feel so alone rn thanks

Hi, thank you for sharing your problem here. So, You fear getting into relationships, you've also mentioned that you've been seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety. Have you ever tried to question yourself about what it is about relationships that you fear. if you really like the person you are in a relationship with, why does time become such a matter of concern for you? you can try journaling your thoughts and ask yourself the questions that haunt you when you are with a person. what is a commitment to you and do you think every person you are with is asking for a commitment? You broke a girl's heart 10 years back and I think you are still not able to come to terms with the fact that you broke her heart. So once sit with your therapist and try to reflect on why that happened and are you still repenting that? do you fear that you will do the same with the next important person you meet in your life?