Anxiety with family

Hey all, Ive always had anxiety but ive noticed for quite a while now that its so bad when im with my family/group of people, in case an arguement starts. Im nervous the whloe time that someone will say something that will end up in an arguement. I hate conflict/confrontation so this is really affecting me. Ive started making excuses not to be with family. I take benzos but they dont help with it.

Any advice on how to get over this?

willow

ps sorry for rambling!

Hi weepingwillow,

I don’t really know if there is a way to become more comfortable with conflict & confrontation & accept it as inevitable. I’m a book person, so if it was me, I’d search out books that may help, but that’s just me. Some people aren’t book people & that’s why there are audiobooks.

Hey,

Thanks for the reply.
Im a book person too and it didnt even occur to me to look for a book about it but i will give it a go.

Thanks again!

willow

I try not to get involved in family conflicts that don't directly concern me. It would probably only escalate things. I let then speak and hear them out. I try to stick with safe, non-confrontational discussions.
I also have an escape planned if needed. I will leave if it gets too bad.
So far my fears are pretty much unfounded. The recent holiday dinners have been more relaxed than some in the past.
The family is getting smaller. Mum and my brother have passed. Dad is 91 and I still try to enjoy his company when I can. There will come a day when I don't have any of this.

Hey,

Thanks for the reply!

Yeh i would tend to stay out of any conflicts too but i just hate being there if there is any. There hasnt really been any that i can think of, i think its mostly just my anxiety. I grew up in a house with a lot of conflict so that could maybe have something to do with it.

I want to make the most of my family while i have them too.

willow

weepingwillow wrote:Hey,

Thanks for the reply.
Im a book person too and it didnt even occur to me to look for a book about it but i will give it a go.

Thanks again!

willow

No problem ww. I’ve struggled with anger issues my whole life, but it didn’t occur to me until recently to look for books about it. Books are no cure all, but some have helped.

Well, it sure can be uncomfortable, when there's a family squabble, and you're not in the thick of it yourself- I know it can be awkward when extended family is concerned....

now, immediate household... I found leaving the house, and slamming the door on my way out, to be a good option for that. Just saying. Vents off some steam, and lets them know you don't enjoy that $#%^. I did that a lot as a young adult.