I met a man on a dating app a few weeks ago and we were supposed to meet for a date this weekend. Everyday he texts me in the morning and a little bit throughout the day, but we mostly talked at night. Today I texted him this morning and he never responded, which is not normal. All day I was really worried, nervous, anxious, on the verge of tears, even my stomach felt like it was in knots and I had no appetite and had to force myself to eat lunch (usually I’m starving), and I felt like I would puke or had to constantly use the toilet even though I knew I didn’t really have to. (These physical signs are brand new to me, usually it’s just the negative thoughts and emotions.) In the past, I’ve been ghosted without warning so that’s what I thought was happening today. These were the thoughts I had: What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he like me anymore? Will I ever find anyone who will like me? (I’ve never had a relationship before and I’m almost 31 so that’s why I was thinking that.) Why is he ignoring me? I’ve never ignored him...
Finally in the late afternoon, I couldn’t take these feelings anymore and I texted him. I saw he was active on social media throughout the day so that added to the anxiety. I was upset at this point, I felt like it was rude to ignore someone that long, especially when I don’t ignore him. So I said that was immature. And he responded with: What are you talking about? Now my brain just can’t understand his point of view. Didn’t he see the text? Didn’t he know he ignored it? Didn’t he know that he’s never done that before? So now it feels like I’m the wrong one here, although I wasn’t the rude one, he was.
Now I feel like I need help for anxiety. I shouldn’t have to feel this way all day long over someone who might not care anymore.
Is this social anxiety because it’s about a “relationship” and communication or is it general anxiety? And do I need medication or therapy?