Hello, I'm new.

Hello, this is my first time posting here, i have a question relating to something that happened to me recently,
The question: Is it rude to not speak first?

My reason for asking:
A few days ago, my mom asked me if i "couldn't speak" I'm assuming her boyfriend was upset that i went three days without saying anything to him, so he told her about it (i dont see him often since my room is in its own little area, I speak to him if he says something to me, but apparently me not speaking first is a problem for him, even though he is aware of my anxiety; we have had issues in the past with him being sensitive when it comes to these things.)
My thing is, I do this with everyone, because speaking is such a weird thing for me, most of the talking i do is through text, i avoid people at all costs and this is one of the reasons why; people tend to misunderstand me, or just not hear me (which is what started this, he said something and i replied, and he didnt hear me, so he stopped talking to me for those three days, which if you ask me comes across as "just leave me be and I'll speak to you when im ready" so that's what i did, a big mess ended up happeneing from this and i spent 3 hours having a crying fit trying to calm myself down, and i just cant stop thinking about it now) we currently aren't speaking, which I'm okay with, my mom made some comments that made me feel weird because she has never spoken to me the way she has started doing since being with him.

Sorry for the long-ish all over the place rant-post, but it just seems so odd; for me when i speak to someone and they dont reply i dont get upset and say they're selfish or whatever else, i just automatically think they either: have a lot going on, just don't want to speak, are as shy/awkward as i am, or just didn't hear me; i dont get upset, then sic my friends on them making a big fuss about it all, i just go about my day being worried about if my tone was rude or weird or if i made a mean face or if my body language was wrong, not if they're stuck up and rude, etc.

Now, to me i feel like this would all be justified if he spoke to me and i ignored him, but i didn't do that, and my mom is saying that i "walk around as if i expect everyone to just talk to me" but that's what he does, he has a little fit when someone doesn't speak to him, but he can do it to other people whenever he wants. Lastnight, i said goodnight to everyone and he was the only one that didn't respond.
So at this point, i don't want to waste any of my energy trying to hold a conversation with him to make him happy, this year hasn't been the best when it comes to the two of us, so i feel like it's just downhill from here.

I'm also a fairly quiet person. I know that not talking can be viewed as being 'unfriendly'.
Are we all supposed to be chatty and bubbly all the time?
Generally after I get to know someone better, I get more talkative.
Best of luck to you.

Hello, I am thinking there is more at issue here besides you not being able to "speak", and that is not your preference.

what I am reading and hearing) is that your mother's boyfriend is expecting you to behave in a certain manner and you are be pressured by both him and your mother. I am suggesting that you don't like your mother's boyfriend and he is living in your home and in your space and you don't really have any way to avoid him.

I sense that your mother wants you to like him so that she can justify the relationship and him living in your home. I suggest that you don't want him in the home and so not speaking to him is your way of communicating that to him (and your mother).

Unfortunately I am not a counselor so I can't necessarily give you advice on what you should do about this. But there are resources.

If you trust your mother, you may want to open up to her and let her know how you feel about this man in your house and how you wish to have the freedom of movement in the house without having to respond to his demands (to talk, or whatever else he is expecting).

Otherwise, you may be able to talk to your school counselor and find out if they have resources. Perhaps your mother has insurance and you can seek counseling, if you are uncomfortable telling your mother it is about the boyfriend, perhpas you can say because you all believe I have an issue because I don't talk, or feel I can speak.