I don't know what to do about this.

I have been thinking of reaching out for help online and writing this post for over a month, and I feel like I've hit rock bottom now and I should do it.
I am a new member (not a native English speaker, hopefully this won't be a problem) and I've never resorted to mental health forums or support groups before.
I find myself in a situation that I am now unable to deal with and for which I am not able to find a name yet, which is what brings me here today. I need to gain understanding about my problem if I want to fix it, and I think I should start understanding whether this is an actual issue at all and acquire tools to describe it properly.
I am not sure if this is the correct section but I do believe my problems are anxiety-related and I am open to further clarifications.
I will try to explain what I'm dealing with as clearly as possible and eventually add background information if necessary.
I am a 27 year old woman and during the last few months I have been experiencing unpleasant and almost unbearable physical sensations, accompanied by a great deal of related anxiety. These symptoms have been profoundly affecting my lifestyle, my productivity and my peace of mind.
I haven't found a clear definition for my combination of symptoms so I will try and list them as carefully as possible:
- Troubles with sleeping (this started around 4 years ago and has been worsening in time). Examples of this could be: at first I would prefer to arrange my sheets/duvet/pillows in a certain manner. I would sometimes remove my sheets to avoid crinkles. I would spend a significant amount of time moving the bed/adjusting bedding in order to feel more "comfortable". This would happen with virtually any combination of sheets, pillows, mattresses etc. (So I wasn't using anything that was actually uncomfortable). I would sometimes question hosts and friends about how comfortable they found my bed to be and would always receive positive comments, such as that the mattress was soft and comfy. Then I would experience discomfort while sleeping in beds different from my own (such as when going on vacation, sleeping at friend's house...) to the point that I would complain about not being able to get some good sleep in other people's beds. This has eventually led to an anticipatory fear of going on vacation, etc., due to being uncomfortable in bed, and in a feeling of shame in showing other people how I arrange my bed, how much time I spend adjusting it, and how much I toss and turn at night. I have noticed a ritualistical fashion in those behaviors.

- Fidgeting in clothes: this has been worsening during the very last few months, and seems to have build up in time. At first I would find myself avoiding particular garments that weren't particulary comfortable; I am now in a place where I can only wear the same thing all the time, clothes have to fit certain standards for me to even consider buying them. I have given up on wearing garments that I never had problems with and that I didn't want to give up on, such bras and tights, which causes a lot of embarassment and discomfort. In winter I tend to be too cold because I cannot wear thick thights; in summer I have to wear oversized clothing to conceal the fact that I'm not wearing a bra. I don't attempt to buy underwear anymore because I have spent a lot of money on it and nothing would fit comfortably. I found some comfortable underwear a couple of years ago and have managed to keep that till now, but that will soon wear out and I don't know what I'll wear after that. I have come to the point of only having 2 night shirts that I could sleep on, I even have to try on socks before deciding if I can wear them, and I feel a lot of discomfort and find myself fidgeting in clothes when I am outside. Virtually nothing seems to fit comfortably.

- Related anxiety: I do have anxiety both unrelated to these issues and anticipatory/subsequential anxiety. When I am supposed to go out, I experience anticipatory anxiety because I know my clothes might not fit comfortably and I spend a lot of time and energy planning what to wear so that that doesn't happen, or at least to alleviate those feelings. I sometimes avoid going out or have breakdowns after going out because of those unpleasant sensations.

I find myself struggling to do things that other people can do naturally - such as sleeping, running errands, going on vacation. I find myself clenching my teeth and developing exhausting headaches in results of these activities, or having breakdowns when I've got to perform such activities.

I strongly believe this is a psychological issue because I haven't always had it (it seems to build up and worsen in time) and because when I am in a very good place mentally, my symptoms improve dramatically. I want to become a better person and be a functional part of this society. I used to work in cancer research in university and would love to keep my work up but the burden of everyday life seems to weigh me down. I am certain this is anxiety driven and I would love to get a job so that I can afford therapy and learn more about myself and this "condition".

Hello and welcome. This isn't the busiest section of the forum so I'm sorry no-one has replied to you sooner. You have done well to reach out for help here.

Firstly, the symptoms you describe are not normal, they are impeding your daily functioning and are bothering you, so regardless of the cause, they are certainly a problem for you. It is good that you can recognise that your symptoms dramatically improve when you are in a good place mentally. You are right that this gives a big clue that your symptoms are psychological. The other thing that made me think that your symptoms might be psychological was this: as I read through what you have written you say that you have hit rock bottom, that you are unable to deal with it and you describe it as a problem and wanting to address it but then you conflict against yourself and say that you are not sure that it is an actual issue at all. This kind of conflicted thinking is often a sign that a problem is psychological, you are caught between being motivated to change and being motivated to ignore it (because these kind of symptoms usually have a deeper background that is really challenging to deal with).

Your actual symptoms reminded me a bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).You have something you are constantly thinking (obsessing) about: are you going to be comfortable and what can you do to make yourself comfortable. And you have a compulsion (action that you have to carry out): to readjust the bed or to only put on certain comfortable clothing.

Your symptoms might fit other psychological problems, only a professional can give you a diagnosis and help you down that road. Have you considered seeking out a professional to help you with these problems?

Hi Eleonora91
It sounds like this burden as been weighing on you for sometime.
I fyou need some help, it's a miracle that there are people out there, who dedicated years of study, practice, and energy to figure why we people do what we do.
The first time I intereacted with a counselor (and it was far from my last),I asked him when things go from a problem to a pyschlogical disorder (referring to the difference between depression and clinical despression). He said "When it begins to detract from the quality of life".

We were talking about depression, but I believe the rule applies with all cases. Like salted lipstick said "only a professional can give you a diagnosis and help you down that road. Have you considered seeking out a professional to help you with these problems?"

Hello @salted lipstick and @stereoplayer,
I apologize for my late reply but have not been very active on this board lately.
Yes I have considered seeking professional help, what has been mostly holding me back is that I don't know the cause of my symptoms and whether they have a psychological or physical origin. It is also hard to describe my symptoms and I haven't had much luck reading about them online. The first time you come across something it might be hard to describe it properly as you do not possess proper tools to adress the issue. It is not as easy as learning about the symptoms of conditions like depression or anxiety since I have not read about similar symptoms often online (apart from people who apprently suffer from sensory processing conditions). I have, surprisingly enough, found other people referring to similar symptoms on a social anxiety board, but I do not feel like I suffer from social anxiety and I don't think that gives me more insight on what I'm going through. My main concern is that therapy is quite expensive and I would need to open up about this with my family. It is already hard enough to explain my situation to my closest friends as they "question" me about the causes of my anxiety and don't seem to get it.