Can’t stop quitting work

Hey guys this is my first post. I’m new to the forum. A quick background about me is I have suffered from debilitating anxiety since I was middle school. Even as a child I was extremely shy and anti social so unsure if it goes back that far but middle school is when I really noticed it affecting my life.


Fast forward to November of last year when I had a nervous breakdown and because of it lost my job. I was absent a lot or left early. I just couldn’t keep focusing on work. I wasn’t happy, I got divorced in 2015 and ever since I’ve dealt with a very vindictive narcissistic ex who would do anything it seems to hurt me and take my money. We have a 3 year old little girl between us. I’m a very loving father and I wanted the family she didn’t. Well anyway at the time my ex was dating someone who’s been in and out of jail and was just a bad guy and I didn’t want him around my daughter. The stress of untreated anxiety and panic disorder toppled with that just drove me to a nervous breakdown. I was in and out of the hospital 3 times in one month. Since I have been put on an anti depressant for the first time as I have refused ever since and it has worked wonders. My anxiety is almost entirely under control however I do not understand and this brings me to the point of this post....ever since my nervous breakdown I can’t stick with any jobs. I have quit 2-3 at this point this year. I don’t seem to stay longer then 2-3 months. I currently work from home and believe it or not I’m still feeling like I can’t stay. I’m already so close to quitting and it’s only been 2 months since I started.

Don’t get me wrong I really like my job but I still somehow can’t make myself take calls all day. It’s like I can’t take being stuck behind the desk all day taking customer calls when I could spend the day doing what I want like spending time with my daughter basically just being happy doing what I want.

I’m not sure if it’s anxiety or Work aversion which of course is related to being burned out. I want a job I can drive around and be free not stuck behind a desk taking call after call. I think I’m burned out possibly but to better explain how I feel it’s like this....

All of a sudden last week I was hit with the impulsive feeling that's been with me since I was 15. I wanted to quit my job and just go, run. It's a feeling I've had so many times I can't remember. I don't want this to sound like i'm lazy or have a bad work ethic because I don't but schedules and the responsibility of life have always made me filled with anxiety, extreme depression, and impulsive behaviors. It drives me crazy that I feel this way. I'm 25 and I've quit every single job I've had within the first 6 months (sometimes the first week) and the longest job i've ever had was 2 years, although I was miserable and somehow made myself do it. As I'm typing this I've called into work for the 2nd day in a row because I couldn't even bring myself to go (i've surprised myself that I called in and didn't just quit). It fills me with complete dread just thinking about going. I've tried to explain this to people in the past but when I feel this way it's almost like there's an invisible wall that's blocking me from going. Maybe like an invisible wall in my head that just won't let me do what I have to do because I'll put it through the anguish of dealing with it. Honestly I don't know....I guess I'm so upset because I thought things were actually going better and than this impulsiveness comes right back and seems to ruin everything as usual. I can't even talk myself through it anymore. It completely overtakes my mind and I just want to run. I even ruin good opportunities and jobs because normally 3 months into it I become so depressed, bored, and anxious that quitting is the only time I feel relief. But than it's a never ending cycle and at this moment I feel more lost than I ever have. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just needing a community to vent to but I do know I need help.