Anxiety because of the lack of private life

Hi,

I am here to write out my problem which makes me suffer for more than a decade. One of my systers chose a spouse from the countryside 10+ years ago, when I was a child (~6 y.o.). My father is a workaholic, so never dealt with me much. This person is very "funny" and provocative but not with bad intensions, it is just the way he used to live his life in the "world of villages". I and my brother (15 years older than me) have always been critisized for not having a girlfriend, not doing this and this, or not cutting the grass just some days later, so to say, it seems he tries to "grew us up" instead our father. Now I found out, that the cause of my anxiety is the continious "bullying" and the lack of private life. They (he and his family, including the children) cannot understand that some poeple do not like to share their private life with everyone or even with the family in some cases. Now, I'm near 25, 3. years at the university, but now I still think that I should be careful because someone might be there who will see what I do and will tell them. When I was living in the countryside as well during the high school, I had no social life including girls as I was fearing from the opinions. My parents got divorced, so my mother seems to "follow" them and gives the green way to these "bullying" as might not be seeing an alternative way. She says that I am too "rigid". This thing put a lot of weight on my shoulder, as it does under the years of high school and I feel I cannot feel being "released". I was working on this problem for years, but I was on the wrong way til now. I thought there was a problem with me, and not thinking that I might be in the wrong environment. I just dont fit into the behavioral pattern of the people of my age. People say that I should go out and etc., but what I really would like to do is something about making tours in the mountains, etc. I like to deal with computers, but I am not a hard geek, as I am said to be by my family. Because of that, I turned to physics sadly, which took 2 years from my life. Now I live in the capital of my country and doing my college. Another problem is my face. I am said to be very handsome and this not wanted "popularity" also increases my anxiety. I simply cannot find friends as not brave enough to speak openly as I fear from being laughted at and toled to everyone. That sounds crazy reading back
What do you think, what should I do?
(Sorry for the long text and my English...)

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