Morals or mental health.

I have a non-academic, soon-to-be activist organization who wants me to attend their educational discussion on Monday. They talk about social issues for political awareness. Should I go or not go?

I already assessed myself and I can't seem to come up with a decision. There's a side of me that says "yes" and a side of me that says "no".

I already talked with this with my mom and grandmother and she disagrees with the location, our number (we're only 6 people), and the fact that we end late at night.

I'm passive so I'm reluctant with saying "yes" to something I say "no" to.

The only thing I want to happen is to end my relation with them so I don't have to think about this anymore.
Mentally, it's bad for me, but morally it's good for me. I'm just not up for the commitments. I've had this problem for two weeks now and can't seem to find a resolution.
What's best?

Your people are against it, you are doubtful, you are not up for the commitments and mentally unprepared. It is morally good, you say. But your heart isn't in it. You want to have nothing to do with them. I say avoid it.

How do I avoid it? Saying "no" is difficult for me. Once I sa "no", they'll think I'm not committed and am not a good person. I just don't want anything to do with them anymore, but they keep on unknowingly forcing me and persuading me. It's not like what they're doing is wrong, but if it's contributing to my mental well-being's destabalization, I should stop regardless of anything, right?

lnz wrote:How do I avoid it? Saying "no" is difficult for me. Once I sa "no", they'll think I'm not committed and am not a good person. I just don't want anything to do with them anymore, but they keep on unknowingly forcing me and persuading me. It's not like what they're doing is wrong, but if it's contributing to my mental well-being's destabalization, I should stop regardless of anything, right?

Saying "no" has always been difficult for me to (for the exact same reason as you) and i have often wondered if its part of my personality, my upbringing or fear (fear being beaten if i said no)

But i have had to start saying "no" now because of my "physical" health, and i had to say its not as scary as i thought, yes i still feel guilty that ive said no but i feel they are not angry at me and they do understand.

(i felt pushed and forced too and i had to put my foot down) 3 days ago actually.
so i can relate, but what i will say is be respectful but if you have to say " no" give your self permission to do so

Thank you, all, for your replies. I'm just having a hard time with this because it challenges my morals. It's making my views of right and wrong get jumbled. I don't know what o believe in anymore, myself or other people's wants.
I still don't know what to say to my group for me to leave.
Everytime I think of countless possibilities, it's like there's no way out unless I tell them the whole truth which I'm afraid to do because they expect more from me, and the fact that I say "no" will make me look selfish. Ughh

I will give you an idea. I use it whenever I want to escape some meeting or assignment that I consider a waste of my time and I want to avoid, but without appearing to be non-cooperative or selfish or a freak or coward. Don't say no. Don't give them cause to think that you are not interested in going. BLAME IT ON CIRCUMSTANCES THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL. Invent a story about some other engagement or emergency which is unavoidable and requires your presence at the same time as the meeting. Give them an impression that but for that unforeseen emergency you would have certainly attended. Then nobody will blame you. You will escape this time. But of course, it will not help you to detach yourself for ever. Also you will have to take care in case they check whether you were telling the truth. Also, you can't make the same excuse everytime.

While I appreciate your help, I don't consider making excusses as a form of escape. I just want to tell them
the truth and get this over with, but my conscience is tearing me apart.
My mom and gramma don't want me to go anymore because they just don't want me to get involved with these (activist meetings) and my mother is aware of my mental health issue. How do I tell it to them so it sounds believable?