Worrying what others think of you?

Hi everyone.
Hope you are all well.

I dont suffer from GAD myself, but I do have a partner who does...
Firstly I just want to give you all so much love and massive hugs and just say that anyone who is suffering from GAD/anxiety, I think you guys are the bravest of people and I feel for you all so much. Its a huge struggle that people seem to disregard, but fighting those demons every day...Well, you guys are just soldiers and I respect you all so much.

Just a quick question...
My partner gets EXTREMELY worried/angry/emotional about what people say/think/feel about him. Theres been some problems within his social group and people have expressed that they feel he is extremely selfish, only thinks about his own needs, questioning his character etc etc and have been "spreading" this to other people as well (a little..immature, I know)
Anyway, he has been SO SO upset about this, just really really sad and he's trying to talk to the individuals who has been saying things about him, and they did not show any remorse. And my partner is just like extremely upset about that people are saying this about him. He has a huge breakdown yesterday cause of it. Like with me, I would just kinda brush it off because people always talk...but he really took it to heart and he actually had a huge panic attack because of it. Im still very new to all this, so my question is...Is this common with anxiety, to care alot about what others think about you? Can someone shed some light on this..or just anything? I just want to learn and want to be able to help him with this a little more as he is just really down in the dumps right now.

Thanks a lot everyone!

Dear walkingonglass:

You asked: "my question is...Is this common with anxiety, to care alot about what others think about you?" We all care what others think about us. The more anxious a person, the more the person feels TREATENED by others' negative criticism. This is why he reacted with a panic attack.

It may very well be like this: when he was a child and one (or both) of his parents thoughts negatively about him, letting him know that they did, they proceeded to punish him. So he, understandably, became very fearful of their negative thoughts about him. If his parents were gentle with him, correcting him gently, kindly, he wouldn't become anxious.

As an adult, he operates the same way: negative thoughts about him carry the weight of approaching punishment, pain, that is.

atina

It's actually very common with anxiety. It's called "social anxiety," but can be a part of GAD. It can be really, really hard for someone with GAD to overcome it. Generally, medication has to get involved, or even therapy could work. It's not so much "childish" as it is that he can't help it. Just try and comfort him if he's not willing to go see a therapist or a psychiatrist. Let him know that everything is going to be alright, and be there for him when he has these episodes.

Hello there,
Thanks for those nice words you posted in the beginning about us anxiety sufferers being brave and such... Very kind of you : ) And yes, all that you stated in the second half of your post is all anxiety related. Being emotional, angry, and even afraid of what people are saying/thinking about you (or your partner in this case) is what I go through. They are horrible feelings to deal with, especially when a person does not have any self-esteem such as myself. Even though I have great grades in college and have a decent job as being a cashier and a cashier trainer, I am riddled with anxiety, particularly with worrying about what my professors and even what the customers at work think of me. When a customer at work has an attitude and directs it towards me, I would really get upset and sometimes I would just want to "get on their level" and argue or fight with them. It is so hard to stay professional at work when you have these a-holes that just want to give you a hard time... And when these customers do this, I do get highly offended and it makes me question myself and my abilities, and basically throws me into this whirlpool of anxiety. With school, the same thing happens, like I worry about "what if my papers are not good enough" or "what if I say something stupid to someone and they laugh or judge me for it." Most of my anxiety does come from being worried about what other people will say and think about me (such as you stated about your partner). Tell your partner to hang in there and maybe try some anti-depressants such as Paxil, that can combat both depression AND most forms of anxiety. It worked wonders for me but had to go off of it because I could not take the weight gain... But there are others out there that will combat anxiety and even depression, since these two go hand-in-hand with most people, such as me. I hope this helps : )

Same I worry about everything what people think of me. I don't go outside unless I absolutely need to. Sometimes I feel disconnected from my body, cant control myself, cant think. For me what helps a bit is to pretend everyone feels the same like you too. It tricks my brain and I'm scared less. I don't really know but I wish you good luck and never ever put your head down.