Girlfriend with Anxiety and Possibly Others

I have been dating this girl for four years now, we have been living together for two years. It sort of dawned on me one day that I wasn't happy in the relationship and that it was time to move on. The last couple of months, if we would get into a disagreement, she would say things like "We aren't that compatible" or "This is why I need someone new." Whenever I brought up the possibility of us breaking up, I just figured she was on the same page, and at first it seemed like she was. But that next weekend it all poured out, and she was begging me to take her back, saying that she would pretty much change everything about herself to make it work.

I should probably go into why I believe she has an anxiety disorder and possibly other conditions. She is completely incapable of doing anything on her own, on that grounds that it is too stressful. She won't do anything that requires her to talk to people she doesn't know, other than at her job as a cashier. She refuses to drive because it is scary to her. She won't talk to anyone on the phone that isn't close family. She has completely dropped out of all of her college classes and says that she just wants to mooch off me once I get a nice paying job. Most of the time she just mopes around the apartment looking at facebook. I had always believed that she was afraid to do anything because her mom babied her a lot when she was a child, whereas I was raised to do everything on my own.

At the apartment, I do most of the housework. I cook all the meals, clean all the dishes, do most of the house cleaning, and do all of the laundry. She usually just lays around complaining that I did something wrong. I had tried bringing up my dislike of the situation, but every time I would, she would get angry. So I stopped bringing it up in an attempt to defuse the situation. She hasn't made a single friend in college, and I am the only person she talks to.

I also have concerns that she might be slightly paranoid. When I went to college, she stayed in our hometown to finish high school. While I was away, her long time friends mysteriously stopped wanting to hang out with her and started being mean to her. When I asked her why they were doing this, she said she didn't know, then jokingly said that maybe they were jealous that she was dating me. Then whenever she graduated and went to the same college as me, we started to befriend her roommates, we even hung out a few times. Then they also mysteriously started being mean to her. She has always been very jealous, and if I would even look at another girl, she would make a big deal out of it. This led me to think that she has paranoia and thinks all of the other women are trying to steal me from her.

I have dealt with this for four years now, and I'm not trying to breakup with her because of these reasons. We just have very different personalities, and I don't see it working out in the long run. After I proposed we break up, everything seemed fine at first. But after a few days, she let it all out. She said that she was sorry for everything and that she would change the way she is. She has been begging me to stay, saying that she would do anything. She also says that I am the only one for her. I suggested that she move in with her parents, because there is no way she could pay all of the bills in the apartment on her own, and she definitely couldn't take care of herself.

Currently I am staying with a friend and she is alone at the apartment. I haven't tried to find a new apartment, and she hasn't made any arrangements to move out. I am looking for help with how to deal with this situation, and how to help her with her anxiety. I want the best for her, and I know that I am not the best for her. I would also like opinions on whether or not she has an anxiety disorder or if it is something worse. I am willing to provide any extra information that is required to make a more accurate analysis.

Hi.

I'm not a professional, but this doesn't sound like a disorder to me. Maybe some mild anxiety, but nothing severe. The paranoia is more of jealousy than anything, and her not doing anything and admitting she wants to mooch off of you sounds like she's taking advantage of you and may be a little lazy. From what you said, I didn't think anything was out of the ordinary, but I'm not a professional.

Hope this helps.