Introduction of some sort...

Hello everyone my name's Chi and I'm new to the forum, so that's probably why I'm totally using incorrectly this tool...
But I really needed to vent out a bit and even just writing about this kind of stuff seams like therapeutic.
So enough with the chitchat let's start with the beginning, I'm here because I'm feeling a dangerously high level of anxiety at the moment to the point it is impeding my life to go on.
At the moment I should be writing the dissertation for my thesis, but I'm too freaked out to actually do anything.
My background with changes it's not the best, actually I'm very afraid of them.
To give you an example when I graduated high school I got into an university where I didn't know anyone and I also got into a major that wasn't right for me, and I got so depressed and anxious that I stopped all together to go to class and feeling completely out my depth I didn't take any exams.
I was so concerned about making my family and friends worry that I kept it all to myself and tried to carry on as anything happened, I went out every weekend and even if I didn't feel like going out with my friends, I still went out by myself to keep up appearance as much as I still got out for lectures even if I didn't attend anymore...
At the end I gathered enough courage to quit the university and rearrange my life.
I ended up doing any sort of odd jobs to occupy my mind and to try and give myself a push, and I also found an other university and an other major that was more suitable for me.
During this other university years I kept it together remarkably well, never cracking under the pressure of exams and juggling everything else.
But not that I should be happier and finally gather my hard worked degree the anxiety has come back full force and it's eating me from the inside.
During this period of time I also lost most part of my social circle simply because I never feel like going out and I really think this is making things even worse because now I have a smaller a more fragile safety net, I really don't want to make my family worry but sometimes now it's just too much effort to put the mask on...
I just wish that all of this anxiety, this imminent sense of doom, this constant dread and all of the pressure went away just enough to let me concentrate and do my research and my writing...
I feel like if I don't get my $#%^ togheter soon I will loose this opportunity too and I will have to postpone my graduation again and an other four months in this state of morbid apathy in the middle of the hurricane that are my anxiety it just gonna get everything worse...
Please if you're going or if you went through this kind of troubles please tell me how to get out of this state of terrorized stupor or if it's even possible to break this atrocious spell!
Thank you.