Parent of a daughter who suffers with GAD

I hope I am coming to the right place for some help. My 18 year old daughter was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder last October. She was placed on Lexapro and has been attending therapy. To see her suffer the way she does is absolutely heartbreaking. I try to remind her of positive things and reassure her that her family is proud of her and support her in every way but when she is having a melt down or anxiety/panic attack, I am her punching bag. In her eyes, she has lived a miserable life and I am the cause of it. I am looking for any suggestions on how to help her realize I am her biggest fan. HELP!

Actually I think she's lucky for having supportive parents. My parents don't understand my condition and they just think I'm weak and lazy.
I don't know how you can change her mind about you. Just keep supporting her, and tell her that, no matter what she thinks about you, you'll keep helping her.

Soon or later she will start to trust you. For us with anxiety it takes a longer time to trust people.

Thank you! I have been reminding her since her diagnosis. For some reason or another, anything and everything that goes wrong seems to be my fault. Especially things I have no control over. Unfortunately she has suffered a lot of loss during her life. Losing people close to her so she has an issue with abandonment issues. It is almost like she feels the need to push people away before they walk away on their own. She is such an amazing person and has a heart of gold. It breaks my heart to receive text messages from her threatening to harm herself and placing blame on me. I just wished she realized how wonderful life is. The sooner she realizes it she will be so much more happier and content. I will continue to support her in everyway possible. This all stems from an ex who manipulated her for about 4 years and really got into her head making her believe that she does not deserve happiness.

helpless16 wrote:Thank you! I have been reminding her since her diagnosis. For some reason or another, anything and everything that goes wrong seems to be my fault. Especially things I have no control over. Unfortunately she has suffered a lot of loss during her life. Losing people close to her so she has an issue with abandonment issues. It is almost like she feels the need to push people away before they walk away on their own. She is such an amazing person and has a heart of gold. It breaks my heart to receive text messages from her threatening to harm herself and placing blame on me. I just wished she realized how wonderful life is. The sooner she realizes it she will be so much more happier and content. I will continue to support her in everyway possible. This all stems from an ex who manipulated her for about 4 years and really got into her head making her believe that she does not deserve happiness.

Hmm... yeah it's quite irrational blaming you for her self harm. Maybe she wants you to leave her alone, sometimes it's hard accepting help from other people.

When I don't respond to her it makes it 10x worse. Then I don't care and she says I want her dead.

Dear helpless16:

Maybe your daughter has valid complaints about you. Are you open to consider such? If you are, maybe you and her can attend therapy together with a competent therapist who will facilitate communication between the two of you, make it possible for her to express what it is that she feels about your mothering of her and make it possible for you to hear your daughter.

Often enough mothers are too subjective when it comes to their children, too subjective to see the child for who she is, really hear her; really know her as she is.

atina