Getting over guilt and anxiety

So I've never done anything like this. I've been dealing with feelings of guilt and shame for the last 15+ months. I've been dealing with anxiety and high functioning depression on and off for the last 9 years. I'm going to counseling regularly and that's been a huge help. my anxiety was recently triggered as I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts about all the things of my past. things that I haven't shared with anyone besides my husband, a close friend, and some things the counselor. i'm constantly bombarded with thoughts of my past mistakes, of things and people that really don't matter to me now. but it's like things and people keep popping up trying to get to me. Like why is my ex boyfriend from my freshman year of college popping up and requesting me as a friend? why am i thinking about someone that i no longer have feelings for, and my only thought is that i once did. my husband knows the guy, knows about him, and knows that we had our tanglings over the years, but largely we wanted to remain friends. yet here i am on a message board b/c i'm too concerned and i had been having some tightness in my chest.

i went outside for lunch and felt better on my break. but when i came back to work i felt the anxiousness return. possibly b/c i'm about to quit my job soon...and move across the world, literally.

i just don't want my past to effect my future, so why do i keep having intrusive thoughts of the past and all my wrongs? what do i do about them?

i've learned so much about myself in my reflection time. i've learned what love is, how to love myself, and love others. i've become a much more empathetic person over the last several months and am open to encouraging and loving other people.

but it seems like no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about my past - i just want to move forward and be free. i'm so tired of feeling like i'm imprisoned by my past, by thoughts, be events that don't matter and that aren't helping me.

any advice? as i write this the tears roll..i'm so tired of this.

As far as I can tell, thoughts about the past re-occur when past events haven't been properly resolved.

Maybe there are certain things you need to do/talk about with the people involved to resolve them; maybe you simply need to resolve them in your own mind.