Fear of driving

turned 20 last month and, much to my embarrassment, I still have not sat my driving test because I have a ridiculous, irrational fear of driving. I started getting lessons around two summers ago and since then have been taken out driving by my parents when I am back home over university holidays and during the summer, so it's not like I'm totally new to it. I have always been disposed to worry and be neurotic and it's something which I fear is holding me back when it comes to learning to drive confidently. Particularly over the last month or so, I have seen my anxiety increase; had my first panic attack a couple of weeks ago, and although I haven't experienced a full blown one since I am still experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety (not constantly but it will crop up at unexpected moments). Previously, I only really felt anxiety on a purely 'abstract' level so the fact that it's escalated to 'heart pounding, throat constricting, shortness of breath' frightens me.

I got behind the wheel of a car today for the first time in a good few months and my escalated anxiety has really compounded my lack of confidence on the road. I wasn't even driving in challenging conditions, on the contrary I was just driving around with my dad in the relatively quiet part of town where I live (although there are a few busy roads), but I was getting really physically agitated - sweating A LOT, vice-like grip on the steering wheel and at one point it just got too much so I burst into tears.

I just can't shake my fear of causing a collision or being involved in an accident. I am not the most coordinated of drivers and have a tendency to blindly panic (stalling etc). Looking at road traffic statistics, e.g. fatalities has made me extremely anxious about anything going wrong. I constantly have intrusive thoughts about being involved in a horrific car crash, being trapped inside the wreckage, or being trapped inside as it goes up in flames. I know this all seems so ridiculous but it's extremely distressing to me, not only because I have visions of myself in an accident but also my family.

At the moment, I have no real need to drive where I study at university but part of me is determined just to use public transport etc once I graduate although I can't help feeling that this would be hopelessly naive of me. I feel so pathetic as well when I see people from my school who passed their test 2-3 years ago and here I am at 20 a clumsy nervous wreck.

Sorry for the length but I am genuinely not sure what to do, whether I should perhaps speak to someone about this? Does anyone else share my fears? I feel pathetic and embarrassed about my fear especially given that I have never been involved in an exam before so I almost feel that my fears are therefore not 'legitimate'.

Dear catscradle:

You repeatedly referred to your fear of driving as ridiculous and unreasonable. I disagree. Reality is that millions of people have and are injured and dead as a results of traffic accidents. So, the danger is real. Every time you are on the roads as a pedestrian, a driver or in someone else's vehicle, riding, every single time danger is real. And the danger is not of a very small statistical percentage. It is quite common.

It is important in dealing with our fears to evaluate the fear for its validity. This is not a ridiculous fear. People who work at the morgue seeing bodies of accident victims would attest to it, that it is not a ridiculous fear.

Therefore, driving safely is of paramount importance. If you were to become a driver, the way for you to do it, as someone presently so afraid of driving, is to be the safest possible driver. If I was you, I would train driving on the computer first, there are programs for that... practicing driving on the computer. Practice safety. This will build in you confidence in your ability to be a safe driver.

Also work on your anxiety otherwise, in psychotherapy perhaps, get insight into the origin of it and learn skills to make its intensity lesser, so it doesn't overwhelm you.

atina

I didn't get my license until i was around 21 for the same reason. Driving always made me very uncomfortable and I always felt overwhelmed/overstimulated and like it was just too easy to crash.

I'm 30 now, and unfortunately I still hate driving.. but I have a few ways that I manage it.

-I choose walking and transit when I can
-I drive the same routes to the same places most of the time and avoid driving to new places when i can
-when I do have to drive to new places, I make sure that I look at a map and have really solid directions beforehand. Even checking street views of things and preparing alternate routes..
-I avoid driving with multiple people in the car
-Avoid driving when I'm tired, hungover, or overly stressed

I'm actually pretty comfortable driving the routes that I know well and don't have a problem with those anymore. If i could transit comfortably though then I would likely not have a car at all. I think for me a lot of my fear comes from unpredictability and not trusting myself or others to act correctly in the moment.