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Anxiety or schizophrenia? any help much appreciated

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Anxiety or schizophrenia? any help much appreciated

Postby Johnnygear63 » Thu Jun 09, 2016 2:10 pm

To start off I just finished freshmen year of college Ive always had minor anxiety/depression problems but never anything along the lines of being scared of losing my mind. In fact I've always felt that I had a very sound mind before this. Ive got about a 3.3 gpa as an engineer and am doing very well in school. and I just got a new job that's going very well. I also have good friends and we enjoy going out to the bars and hanging out. However all of this is still really freaking me out and I would really appreciate hearing some opinions on what is going on with me.

Ok so it all started when I smoked at my friends house about a year ago. We just got a new bong and I hadn't smoked in a while so I got way to high and had a panic attack pretty much all night long. I smoked a couple more times after that and each time the same thing would happen where I would become really panicked and paranoid. Also after each time I smoked I felt really out of it an weird for a couple of days after. I started to google my symptoms and a lot of it said dp/dr but there was an article I found that said marijuana may bring out symptoms of schizophrenia. After this I couldn't get the idea that I had schizophrenia out of my mind. I would look up symptoms and in my mind a lot of them seemed to match my experiences. For example there was a period of time where my speech was really bad. I would be saying something and it would just come out as jibberish. Or my friends couldn't figure out what I was trying to say. There were some nights right before I went to bed where I would have all of these weird thoughts that didn't even make sense like word salad.
During class I could not take notes pay attention or even talk to my friends. I would just zone out and stare. I felt at times that I could not concentrate on anything even a conversation with a friend. This dissociative state always went away eventually and would never last for more than a couple hours but still really scared me and made me feel like I was losing my mind. While all of this was happening I would still smoke occasionally and eventually I had another really bad panic attack while high. After that night I felt certain I had schizophrenia I had smoked with my friends then just sat there for two hours not talking to anyone zoning out the entire time. The week following this night was where I started to have my really convincing symptoms. I would walk around campus and would see people and think in the back of my mind that they following me or watching me. Although I knew it wasn't really true I couldn't shake the thought and started to feel uncomfortable around people. Also there was one time I was watching tv and an episode of a show where the main character was going crazy came on and I had the thought that there was some special reason why I was watching that episode and that it was directed at me somehow. I also had some mild paranoia such as thinking people where talking behind my back but I think that was more anxiety related. The only other major symptom I have is that I have "voices" in my head. The reason I put voices in parenthesis is because they are 100% my thoughts. The voices I am referring to are inner dialouge going on inside my head. And I know that this can be kind of normal but It's like I have potential conversations always running through my mind. It like out of the blue I'll think of a random sentence and realize I have been reciting a conversation I had a couple of hours ago subconsciously. These conversations can be between me and myself or between me and someone else. But it's more like a what if conversation Im not actually talking to anyone.
One more weird symptom was I'd find myself having weird facial expressions. sometimes I find I e been making like a confused face or a furrowed brow or something without realizing it. I've read thats also occasionally a symptom of schizophrenia.
For a while I hadn't told anyone but eventually I told my best friend and my mom and they assured me that I don't have it. I used to call my mom just so she could reassure me that I don't have it and that definitely helped.Me and my mom would actually laugh sometimes about how ridiculous all of it sounded and I always felt better after talking to her but at the end of the day I still always worry. I would also browse the Internet for hours trying to check that I don't have it and sometimes it felt like it was the only way I could reassure myself. I still can't shake the thought that I have schizophrenia or am about to get it. My mom and I have come to the conclusion that it might be OCD because of my need to check my symptoms online to feel better (I would do this every day multiple times when it was really bad). Also my sister did have some problems when she was little and when I was little I needed to say the same prayer every night otherwise I thought someone in my family would die. But have come a long way from where I was I feel a lot more confident now and those symptoms only occasionally show up. the major symptoms never really show up however the symptoms do come back when I smoke ( I do still have the constant inner dialouge). Tbh I just want some answers and opinions as to what was/is wrong with me and if I have to worry about schizophrenia.
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Re: Anxiety or schizophrenia? any help much appreciated

Postby John-45 » Sat Jun 11, 2016 4:34 pm

First off, it’s good you have good friends and enjoy going out to the bars and hanging out. I’d like to hear this: is it changed anyhow lately (like you going out less if at all; or stop meeting your friends and thinking they are not so much friends anymore and so on)? Secondly, it’s obviously smoking with friends is part of your social agenda, but it seems like a trigger to your panic attacks, sounds right? If yes, than why the hell not to cut off smoking? Third, since you ‘browse the Internet for hours’ and already read about Schizophrenia criteria, then if you decide to see your campus psychologist, you’ll be able to tell him what you have! Keep going well in school and having your good job and find more positive things around you!
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