seperation anxiety

my family is gone. everyone in my family is severly ill. my mother, she doesn't even respond anymore. and she keeps on getting into car crashes. it's so strange. i know she's pretty much gone because i don't even have family photos anymore. nothing. just a little faint memory from the past. i heard once when you experience madness...you die after it. not like anxiety, but like madness...you end dying. from the anguish. i'm so sad. i already lived on the street, and i have nothing. i live in a little apartment. i rememeber two aunts i had when i was little, but they're gone now. also my grandfather is dead. my father left. i had another uncle and aunt but she's dissappeared. she's somewhere in L.A. i always believed in heaven so i know they're in a better place. it all just came by so suddenly. i'm in canada now, and i'll never understand them. i'm originally from a small village which i will never find. i have no brothers and sisters. i have two cousins, but one already has brain damaged and is a serious drug addict and the other is little and under the care of her father. i always heard it's hereditary/genetic to loose your parents. my mother actually lost her mind when i was about 11, she started hearing voices and acting strange. then she started fainting and dissappearing. eventually she dissappeared. but i knew god will take care of her soul.

Dear babybowrain:

I am sorry you are distressed.

Your post is making me think about my situation. Personally did not benefit from my family-of-origin. I came out of it damaged. I have no contact whatsoever with father (dead), mother, aunts, uncles, cousins, their descendants, half siblings... by choice and I don't plan to change this.

About madness- I don't think it is true that you can die from anguish. If it was true I'd be dead and my mother (who had a terrible childhood and life and told me about it a whole lot) would have been dead too. Feelings ... feel like they are not dangerous, but they are not dangerous. I learned that.

atina