Scared of loving someone new

I just broke up w my boyfriend a week ago and im freaking out. I still love him i just cant forgvie something he said to me. he is v depressed tho so idk if that was his darkness talking but i just couldnt do it. Anyway im just so scared of moving on. Today I started talking to a new guy and i just dont want anyone else but him but im also scared to be with him because what if i cant move on because im afraid of change? Do i really love him? Should i move on? Should i try to make it work? My mind wont stop.

dear anxietyohthefun:

How are you: what happened since you posted this? If it is still relevant to you, what is it that your boyfriend said to you that you cannot forgive??

atina

If your ex boyfriend was severely depressed and "in darkness" to begin with, I have no idea why you were staying with him before the mentioned incident. I regret to say that your post makes you sound like a teenager or some twenty-something who is making drama.

I am not suggesting you are not anxious, but your ex boyfriend doesn't sound like much, so it is best to move on.

Also, why do you have to be talking to a new man so soon? Can't you live on your own for a month? Do you always have to be in a relationship? Are you that insecure?

MarkBH wrote:Also, why do you have to be talking to a new man so soon? Can't you live on your own for a month? Do you always have to be in a relationship? Are you that insecure?

I'm surviving. Yes, I am 20, it was my first relationship. It was just really hard to let go of someone I truly loved because my parents divorce was hard and breaking up and moving on was just scary for me. It'd be nice if you were a bit more sensitive considering we're on a psych forum.

You might need more time to get over him. Your first boyfriend is especially hard to get over because you have a lot of precious memories together, everything is very special, and you feel like he's the only one. Trust me, there are a LOT more guys out there, guys who are very nice and won't hurt you, but you have to think about yourself first. You need time to heal and need to focus on your well-being.

I'm sorry you are also dealing with your parents divorcing. That is also very tough. However, as you know now, sometimes things don't work out. I am sure in the future you will find someone who is kind, mentally healthy, and easy to get along with. However, you are still young, so give yourself time. I'm sure there is plenty you'd love to do with your life - focus on that now while you aren't tied down!

TwinStars wrote:You might need more time to get over him. Your first boyfriend is especially hard to get over because you have a lot of precious memories together, everything is very special, and you feel like he's the only one. Trust me, there are a LOT more guys out there, guys who are very nice and won't hurt you, but you have to think about yourself first. You need time to heal and need to focus on your well-being.

I'm sorry you are also dealing with your parents divorcing. That is also very tough. However, as you know now, sometimes things don't work out. I am sure in the future you will find someone who is kind, mentally healthy, and easy to get along with. However, you are still young, so give yourself time. I'm sure there is plenty you'd love to do with your life - focus on that now while you aren't tied down!

Thank you! I will probably do my best to move on. It's for the best.