Mood swings within hours during the day.

Hi, I need help, I don't know what is happening to me. I'm a 19 year old male, and every day I have mood swings within hours, usually when I have mood swings I get nauseated and anxious, I feel like vomiting, but I can not vomit, then I'm afraid I might loose control of my mind and commit suicide, or having an anxiety attack, and go crazy, because I don't know what is happening. I feel hopeless and miserable, then next hour I feel completely normal and, thankful that those feelings are not in my head anymore. I have been in my house for 4 weeks isolated from everyone except my family and, I haven't go to school because of the uncomfortable feelings. The other thing is that I consider myself an attractive guy and, when I'm interacting with another person they are afraid of looking me to my eyes and, the interaction is very awkward and, they end up looking somewhere instead of me, my father thinks I'm an attractive guy and, our relation is awkward too. That is the reason I don't have friends. Sometimes I think I'm to attractive, sorry to sound narcissistic but, that's what I feel and I think is stopping me to have friends. Example is that even guys give me the look, they look at me in the lips and, that feels uncomfortable to me. I have been taking mirtazapine for 1 year and a half. I went to the hospital yesterday because I felt nauseous in the mall and, have and anxiety attack, I wanted to throw up but I couldn't. This thing is getting out of my hands and I need help. Thank you for reading. This is an amazing forum.

Dear Black01:

i am so sorry you are going through such difficult experiences. I am familiar with the feeling like about to vomit. It happens to me when I get very scared, before I even know I am scared.

There is a way to get less and less scared, a process that takes time and work. At this point, you need some special help that you are not getting. Maybe a better medication (didn't hear of the one you are taking). Something to calm you down when you feel very distressed. Maybe practicing deep breathing, maybe a hot bath/ shower, hot tea, a walk outdoor, something you can do the moment you get distressed or as a routine, a way to prevent such.

I would like to talk with you more about the feeling of being too attractive, when you feel calm enough and if you are interested, you can share more about it. In any case, please take good care of yourself!

atina

Hi, sorry I didn't answer quick I didn't have internet access. What I mean with being to attractive is that I'm when I try to make friends or, I try to talk to somebody they are in a defensive mode and, I'm a straight guy, and when I talk to another straight guy they give me the look andthe, they look at me in the lips and, things like that. I don't have a good relationship with my father because of that maybe a have feminine features, I don't know. Thank you for writing.

Dear Black01:

You feel uncomfortable, awkward interacting with your father and with other men. You wrote that you feel or believe that your father, and other men, think you are attractive, in a feminine way, maybe and that makes you anxious...Is that so?

Maybe your father made comments to you about your looks or behavior that hurt you a lot? Parents often do not know how powerful what they say is on their children.

???

atina

Yes, my father have told me that I'm good looking and, other people have told me that too.When I interact with other men, and women the interaction is very awkward. For example today I talk with a man and, he was smiling at me and, didn't held to much eye contact maybe because he thinks I'm good looking I don't know. I don't like that type of interaction. I would like a normal interaction.

Dear Black01:

I am sorry you are having awkward interactions again and again. I am trying to understand what good looking means, in your mind. What kind of good looking is it, sexually attractive good looking, you mean? What do you think that man was thinking as he was talking with you?

Will be back at the computer tomorrow.

atina

When I said good looking I mean cute or, it can mean sexually attracting too. Sorry to sound narcissistic but, I don't don't know how to describe it. When I talk to a man, or a woman I can read their body language, and that tells me they feel something about me. I don't know if it is I'm just over stress in about that, but I can feel it. Thank you for listening.

Dear Black01:

When I went to therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT) I was taught how people have distorted thoughts, often and ... everyone does! One of those thought distortions (also called cognitive distortions) is called "mind reading"- meaning we think we know what someone else is thinking. Often we don't although we... think we know, sometimes even sure that we know. I still do it but getting better at recognizing it. Sometimes I check with a person whose,... mind I read and i found out repeatedly that I was wrong, that he was not thinking what I thought he was thinking.

atina