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Discussing Anxiety

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Discussing Anxiety

Postby SurfingPig808 » Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:50 am

First off I really appreciate how all of you contribute to the forum. The threads have been very enlightening to me. I do not experience anxiety personally. My girlfriend does. And that is why I'm posting this thread. She's expressed how anxious she is to me and we have had conversations revolving around her anxiety but have not directly discussed it thoroughly. Our relationship is fairly new and quite slow as she is in the process of finishing school. Up to this point I have remained relatively naive about anxiety in general. I was having a difficult time understanding what she is going through on a daily basis until I started doing my own research. It seems to me that I've handled myself appropriately the majority of the time. On the other hand, based on my reading, some improvements can be made. All of literature I've come across has agreed on the need to discuss anxiety openly.

I'm not quite sure on how to bring up the subject as I usually let her do that on her own. I'm leaning toward being direct after asking for her permission to proceed. And if the time is not right for her, then simply leaving the door open for when she is ready.

Secondly, I already have a list of things to talk about including but not limited too:
How her anxiety makes her feel, physical signs, what I can do, what I should not do...

Any advice will be much appreciated. Mahalo
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Re: Discussing Anxiety

Postby atina » Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:21 pm

Dear SurfingPig808:

My advice to you is that you will be open with her about the fears you experience in your life outside your relationship with her and what is directly related to the relationship. Anxiety is, in my definition, ongoing, excess fear, and lots of people experience that. Nobody is free of fear. So, if I was you, I'd be open with her about my feelings, share with her when I am afraid. This will encourage her to share about her fears and make her feel okay about being afraid. After all, fear is not her abnormal experience. Perhaps the intensity, at times, the ongoing quality of it... how it limits her, but it is everyone's to deal with. I like a line from a poem I read: "Each one of us has to find a way to live with fear."

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