Living Alone, Completely Panicking

I've had a very rocky life, to say the least. I've been in therapy for years on and off for a wide array of long-term (complex) PTSD. Not completely sure that therapy helped, but I did make a lot of progress from reading books and articles on my own. I had a very abusive/unstable home life as a child, and I struggle with a chronic pain condition that has prevented me from graduating college or holding a normal job. For the past few years I've been trying to recover from the severe mental trauma from living with my parents, while trying desperately to support myself.

Suddenly, after spending my entire life fighting, everything turned around. I met an amazing man who loves and supports me emotionally, who is actually healthy and independent. I started working full time from home in my field. I got my own apartment in a decent neighborhood. And I've actually gone into remission for my illness for the first time in years. Yet I feel like my mental health is going downhill.

I'm feeling more anxiety than ever before. I've been in the new place for about a month and a half now, and I've barely gotten any work done in that time. I wake up and don't want to get out of bed. My head is constantly spinning. I start to work on a project and the anxiety makes me want to hide under the table. I've even become intensely paranoid a couple times and accused my boyfriend of cheating, which is completely unlike me (I'm not even a jealous person). Today I got some exercise equipment, which I'm hoping might help calm my mind, but it doesn't seem to be helping so far. I just don't know what else to do. I'm trying to get out of the house regularly. I'm more or less on an early schedule, and eating properly. The time I spend with my boyfriend is so happy that I can forget about the rest of my life, but as soon as I'm alone again the anxiety comes right back.

The last time I saw my psychologist (before my insurance stopped covering her) she told me that my mind needs time to relax and adjust. She said that it will take a long time to believe that everything is really okay, and to stop being afraid of reverting back. But I don't feel like just vegetating in a pool of anxiety is going to help me get better, and I financially can't afford to keep missing work. I'm looking for any advice, similar experiences, etc. that might help me make sense of this. Thank you.

Cartesian Theater wrote:I've had a very rocky life, to say the least. I've been in therapy for years on and off for a wide array of long-term (complex) PTSD. Not completely sure that therapy helped, but I did make a lot of progress from reading books and articles on my own. I had a very abusive/unstable home life as a child, and I struggle with a chronic pain condition that has prevented me from graduating college or holding a normal job. For the past few years I've been trying to recover from the severe mental trauma from living with my parents, while trying desperately to support myself.

Suddenly, after spending my entire life fighting, everything turned around. I met an amazing man who loves and supports me emotionally, who is actually healthy and independent. I started working full time from home in my field. I got my own apartment in a decent neighborhood. And I've actually gone into remission for my illness for the first time in years. Yet I feel like my mental health is going downhill.

I'm feeling more anxiety than ever before. I've been in the new place for about a month and a half now, and I've barely gotten any work done in that time. I wake up and don't want to get out of bed. My head is constantly spinning. I start to work on a project and the anxiety makes me want to hide under the table. I've even become intensely paranoid a couple times and accused my boyfriend of cheating, which is completely unlike me (I'm not even a jealous person). Today I got some exercise equipment, which I'm hoping might help calm my mind, but it doesn't seem to be helping so far. I just don't know what else to do. I'm trying to get out of the house regularly. I'm more or less on an early schedule, and eating properly. The time I spend with my boyfriend is so happy that I can forget about the rest of my life, but as soon as I'm alone again the anxiety comes right back.

The last time I saw my psychologist (before my insurance stopped covering her) she told me that my mind needs time to relax and adjust. She said that it will take a long time to believe that everything is really okay, and to stop being afraid of reverting back. But I don't feel like just vegetating in a pool of anxiety is going to help me get better, and I financially can't afford to keep missing work. I'm looking for any advice, similar experiences, etc. that might help me make sense of this. Thank you.

In all honesty, I can relate to most of your post. I HATE change. But, in the end, what feels new and scary right now, will eventually feel familiar. After all, your last place of residents felt like home. It might have been tough with your parents, but it was tough with your parents...at home. So just give this one time - and don't put a time limit on how long that might take either.

Tell yourself this is my home. Your anxiety will zone in on anything that might cause you agitation and it will magnify it. But anxiety blows everything out of proportion. Tell yourself you are safe in your home and that any negative thoughts is down to your anxiety and not your home.

You'll get used to anything after a while. Some things might take longer than others, but you'll get there.

Hi, I´m so sorry to hear you are going throgh that, but BREATH, I was there once, I was stydying abroad last year and I cant tell you it was a terrifying experience. But I never allowed to affect my experience .

I have some recommendations for you.

1.-Talk / skype/snapchat/text message someone you trust and love.

2.- Exercise ( thats the most important) you can only beat anxiety through exercise and having a good diet.

3.- meditate ( if you do it or if not you can try some self meditation videos on youtube).

4.- make friends and don´t be scare of the unknown.

5.- do what do you like the most.

Ive been struggling with anxiety for the last 4 years and I know how to handle it. If you need some information or help you can dm me .