I feel like everything is falling apart

Right now I'm in transient because my roommates failed to pay rent, causing us all to be evicted. Boyfriend (J) and I are staying with some friends and will be paying them rent ($350) starting next month. We've been here a week, and by "we", I mean "me", because he has been gone for days for work. Our only car is in the shop, and he travels for work a lot, so he stays with his boss, his dad, or our friend in town, depending on which project he's working on the next day (he works construction). I'm having terrible anxiety that they're unhappy about something (J telling them they'll have their first payment at the end of next month? Me being sick/sad the whole time I've been there? Not wanting roommates?) But maybe I'm just being overly anxious. J says since he hasn't been there, he can't tell. All this has been very stressful for him, because I still haven't been able to get a new car/job since my car accident last May. That's terrible on my anxiety as well, because as terrified as I am over driving, I'm not feeling great over not making money.

I feel like everyone is annoyed/angry with me and my anxiety. I'm back on prozac, and it was working well, and then I hit a hypomanic episode, and then it leveled out, and then things were good, but now I feel like it's tapered off. I'm sad and having one of the worst anxiety episodes I've had since... well, since my last really bad anxiety episode, which was shortly after going on the prozac, before it was doing anything yet. I feel like the leveled-out-ness just after the hypomania is where I want to be, but can I keep that? Is it possible? I had days, WHOLE DAYS YOU GUYS where I wasn't sad or anxious. At. All. And I've never felt that way before. I was relaxed and easy going and felt like my true self. Pretty special considering all I had gone in for was klonopins (and she wouldn't give me more than ten .5's at a time anyway).

On top of all of this, I'm still trying to heal from the rape and beating I suffered at the hands of my ex boyfriend who killed himself back in July. (Funny thing- as much as I dreamed of it happening, it didn't change anything.) It's been two years, and I feel like I should be healing from this. And I am, but not at the pace I would like. It's slow, and dealing with housing and money and transport and medication issues on top of it all makes it much harder to heal from this in a useful, lasting way without all this backsliding.

Sorry to unload so much on you guys, but lately I just feel like I'm circling the drain, and I'm so tired. I could really use a response. I'm feeling very lonely.

I'm sorry dear , life can be cruel , especially when we feel like passengers in our body while some sad/anxious driver makes all the bad turns as we look out the rear view wondering where the hell we are going. Sounds like you are stuck in the house a lot hu? You didn't mention whether you have any time occupying hobbies , but that's where I would start if I were you. It's not good to be stuck inside all day with your thoughts. Have you ever given any thought to meditation? Cultivating a sense of mindfulness and emotional awareness would do wonders for your anxiety , and plus it's free and you can do it anywhere lol. Anywho , stay positive and keep your head to the skies. Your current bf must love you very much to be working so hard , and that is a rare thing to have. Take some time to relax , take in the love , and ( I know this hard to do) don't worry so much much love and peace be upon you sister