I want to excel

I do not want to die a nobody. I do not want to be forgotten. I want to have a grand success that will make other people awe. I want to be the one and only. I want to break the hearts of all the people who thought they want to compete with me. I want to do all of this the fair way. Things are not working all that well for me. This is what makes me feel so pressured and tensed. I want to quit, but I can't. I fear that there could be something afterwards. Some after-life. I do not want to be called a quitter in my after-life. I feel that my life is empty. So, I just live it reluctantly.