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Does anyone experience this? trying to determine what it is

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Does anyone experience this? trying to determine what it is

Postby staticminded » Mon Jan 22, 2007 8:31 pm

Im new here. I've been dealing with various things for several years but one thing thats been happening recently ( over the last 6 months ) is that I find myself changing my mind CONSTANTLY along with a deep-gut feeling of hesitation EVERY time. This is bizarre so let me use an example or 2.

I'm driving down the road and thinking 'Hey I need to go to wal-mart and get a network cable' .... NOT TEN minutes later ( most of the time ) I start feeling negative about that. Saying "I dont want to go to wal-mart"

I do this with everything and almost every decision! I dont know what is going on. The reason I posted this in this forum is because I do suffer from anxiety and ocd (thoughts not rituals) and the feeling of hesitation I mentioned above is almost like a short shot of anxiety but its hard to be certain.

thanks for any help!
jake
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Postby JWallace » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:18 pm

Yeah I get the same thing. I sudenly feel intense fear about an activity Im about to do or am doing. Often it's something I've done before a thousand times or something I would actually probably really enjoy if I just could force myself to do it. But there's this irrational fear that's so powerful. It seems easier (it almost never is) to just not deal with it at all and force it from my mind.
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thanks

Postby staticminded » Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:58 pm

Thanks very much for the replies. I also feel that fear about things. Some as simple as getting the mail. Not that im afraid of getting the mail but its something else. For a long time I would get this deep gut feeling which i could only express as 'dread'. Now I believe it is anxiety. I also think that since ive been experiencing this my thought associations have become very screwy. For example:

Thought => "I need to get the newspaper"
Feeling => "ugh i dont want to"

then 5 minutes later....

Thought => "Go get the paper - you will be glad you did"
Feeling => same as above.

So as I go thru everyday life under this constant cycle it starts 'burning' negative connotations for everything I do.

Probably not that simple to figure out if possible at all. I have recently started Lamictal, a mood stabilizer. Its actually making quite a difference. I still feel this 'dread' and fight not being motivated but its a better day on average ;)
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