Help me with this anxiety after having sickness

I always have panic attack. It comes suddenly and makes me think of dying. How to deal with this? I have been having problem at home. My dad i just found he has an affair with other woman, then i get stressed with my university life, im currently studying law but i dont think i can do it good, and then comes to my society life, seeing smart people make me feel so down and i feel invisible a lot around my friends. And my friends keep calling me short tiny and stuff its just hurting. I have a boyfriend now that lives so far away, i really want to meet him its been 4 years it makes me stressed thinking about it. I cant tell my parents about him cause we met in such a strange way and we have different religions so my parents wont like him at all. Please help, ive been suffering with a stomach disorder and i always think of dying, i have to get rid of this. Im scared and im stressed i feel like i dont have anyone. I feel this anxiety a lot after i got sick and i had to go to emergency unit, i thought i was gonna die then i started to feel scared about a lot of things now