Can't fit in

Hei
Ok, a little history first. I was born with normal hearing and from 8 yrs old noticed hearing deterioating, so that by 14 yrs I could hear a jet taking off only if I stood right behind it. As we lived on an island I attended normal public school and sat immediately in front of teachers desk so as I could be nudged for awareness of classroom activity. I taught myself to lip read. Something to this day, if I cannot see the lips I do not fully understand what is said.
Being one of the boys with a bunch of friends did not happen.
At 16 yrs the doctors relented as at that time surgery on a person under 21 was not to be considered. I had surgery on my left ear a stapledectomy implant and after the required recovery period I had 75% hearing in my left ear. This was 1966.
Now I considered myself normal, I got on with life, finished schooling albeit high school. I had a fishing job lined up before finishing school and life for me looked to be sorted. Trouble being my stomach and mountainous waves did not go well together and that career ended before it started.
I then went inland on the continent, acquired a job for the government as a quality assurance officer in charge of many various construction sites throughout the countries.
I had my right ear operated when it was obvious I was having problems hearing engineers sprouting directives. From there I thought I was all fixed.I worked this position for the next 30 years.
I discovered I didn't get by well in cities nor with lots of people, so I opted for positions working alone in remote locations and it worked well for me.
I tried a marriage or two. I was diagnosed with Klinefelters Syndrome and as such having kids was not going to happen. Not having friends I knew I wanted kids at least when I was old I'd then have family around. So I allowed myself to be put through the ringer trying to raise other peoples children. But with time figured I was just a bank account and driver. I never stopped trying but the walls I put up just made life over complicated.
Here I was at 45 with a dozen step kids who called my by my first name all of whom I got on really good with both male and female, but their mothers I couldn't cope with. The mothers quoted my hearing as the major problem.They called it selective hearing
Now I've had surgery and found hearing aides of little benefit if any. But at the time I had surgery, that was all you had....the surgery. After that you were on your own. I could hear, but I couldn't listen. Staying tuned to a conversation was near on impossible and if more than one group of people in discusion in a room was impossible to stay tuned to one group. Background noise overtakes all voices.
The one thing that is most harmful is that you do not know what you did not hear.
Life continued. I stayed working in remote locations, far enough remote that it was an 8 hour flight back to civilisation. Hobbies in these places with no TV ,computers or videos. Well you created your own. Hiking, mountaineering, fishiong etc & I chose overseas penfriends. To cut a long story short I found me the perfect partner and within 2 years we were married, she had/has a daughter. More complications that would make this blog too long. Due to immigrations laws with regard to the daughter we found that it was best that I live in my wifes home country. To me this was exciting and work wise didn't pose and problem. Before departing I was informed I would be able to get work.
Now I have been living in this country for 18 happily married years. The marriage is strong. I have a truly amazing wife and she is the only reason I am here and I will not leave.
To work here it is essential to speak the local language. And with years of lessons, teachers meeting and my pulling my hair out I have not learnt the language. Hearing engineers here have looked at my hearing graphs and declared that with what I hear it is impossible to learn a new language. I have a lot of trouble hearing english, the new language...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 9 times