Performance anxiety

I believe I have some kind of performance anxiety disorder, and would like to have an expert's opinion before seeing a doctor. Basically, whenever I need to do some kind of mental task, especially in front of somebody, as soon as I get something wrong, or am unsure of what I am doing, my brain freezes and I stop thinking straight. I forget what people told me 3 seconds ago and am not certain about even the most basic things anymore (taking it to the extreme, I ask myself is 2+2 really 4?!). I have always had sort of a stage fright in situation when I'm on the spot, but I feel like it is becoming worse.

I do not consider myself to be a stupid person, having just finished a college engineering degree, and I can think and react fast in most situations when I'm not "on the spot". Nor do I consume drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol. However, my upbringing was pretty rough, and my parents were always VERY strict about grades, until recently. The stress of performing badly still haunts me in daily tasks, and when I get into this "brain-freeze" state, as mentioned above, I stress even more because I am aware of it, and then perform even worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle of bad performance leading to anxiety and vice versa.

Here is a more concrete example. I have been taking music lessons for a couple months. The first couple lessons I did great, and acquired the new concepts pretty quickly: the teacher seemed impressed. But when I started having more advanced material to play/understand and my teacher expected me to do my homework, things started becoming much worse. I do not wish to talk about it to her, since she's not my psychiatrist, but at the same time she must be wondering why I have become such a bad student. I forget notes that I learned a month ago, I can't play songs I knew by heart just a couple hours ago at home, etc. And worst of all, I can't improve when I am in this state! I listen to her instructions, play it properly one time, and the next time I already forgot what to do! I get quite sweaty when this happens and overall a feeling of guilt after my lesson, which has recently made me reluctant to even touch my instrument, because it reminds me of how much I sucked.

What should I do? I don't want to take meds. Can somebody recommend some practical advise or a way of thinking about it that would make me less anxious when this happens? Also, what could I do on the long term?

Sorry for the wall of text, and thank you in advance.

Hey, seems like it is quite a pickle there. I don't really have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but I can still freeze I'm certain moments, even when I'm working it takes a while to register but not "that" extreme.

I have been diagnosed with Tourists though, easy to control now compared to childhood. Use to have it quite badly at school so that placed a bit of pressure on me but it's something I had to deal with and still do, it's still their just, more internal.

So about what you said regarding your childhood and your parents being strict, that may have attributed these kind of issues that you presently face.

The only thing I advise is that you could see a therapist, like so many have suggested on here, I am no expert so you may need to see a therapist or a doctor for more of a better insight. I'm very sure they will keep it confidential and you could ask if they have any alternatives to medicstion.

Oh and keep trying with those lessons, that's what lessons are, to learn. And when/if you feel ready you could tell your teacher, if she is ready wondering it seems she cares and may support you ever further. However that choice is totally up to you.

Take care, hope this sort of helps