Meds - are they even working?

I am taking gabapentin for anxiety and lamictal for mood stabilization and impulse control. My doctor has essentially ruled out bipolar but we have been trying several different medications (SSRIs, mood stabilizers, ADHD medication, etc) without much relief. I am so sick of the constant anxiety, sadness, anger, worry, second guessing, low confidence, low self-esteem, isolation, etc. I wake up with this daily.

I am trying to do the right thing behaviorally by exercising, meditating, reaching out for help, attending therapy, etc. I have a good job, I handle myself ok socially despite being really uncomfortable (shortness of breath like someone is standing on my chest and rarely feeling joy), and I am in overall good physical health.

My point is that I am not handicapped by my emotional and mental struggles. I just do NOT feel right.

So my question is, shouldn’t I feel better if the medication was in fact working? Is it possible that I just don’t realize I feel better or should it be noticeable improvement?

My first question for you would be how long have you been taking this particular medication?

Also, sometimes it takes a long time to find the right combination of medication and the right dosage. I choose not to take medication because of that fact but that choice isn't for everyone that's for sure. If you don't feel handicapped by your emotional or mental struggles, why is it that you're seeing a mental health professional and taking medication? Not to mention having them tell you something is wrong with you or that you have a disorder just makes trying to figure out what you feel like is "not right" with you even more confusing.

Whether or not you'll notice improvement is pretty much dependent on the amount of time you've been taking that medication and what's truly ailing you. You also mention you suffer from low confidence, low self-esteem, and isolation type issues and medication wouldn't make any of that go away, that's a mindset and medication usually won't work for that. I know you say you're doing other alternatives like exercising and meditation and therapy, but that too is a pretty long process. I know for me it's taken years to even get one step ahead. But everyone's different. It sounds like you've already been dealing with medication and other treatments for a long time, maybe you just haven't found the right one yet.