Hello

Hi, I am 32, been living in canada for about 8 years. It sucks, I hate it here, will eventually get back to the US I hope. I have had GAD and panic attack issues since I was about 23.

One day I was hitting the bong, and had I guess a panic attack, I thought I was having a stroke or aneurysm or something. My panic attacks screw up my hearing and vision even, it's weird. I have had a bit of visual snow issues since I was in my teens, when I have an attack, it gets really bad. It's like the cable is going off in my head, those who had old TV's know what I mean, it's like a bunch of random dots just flashing all over. The one difference is the visual snow is multiple random colors instead of just black and white. There is a loud rush of white noise in my ears, I can hardly hear anything else. It feels like my lungs are not getting any air, even though I know I am breathing deeply.

Doctors up here are insane, I went to my GP when I finally got one after 4 years of living here, hoping to get a prescription for lorazapam, that was what my old doctor gave me. The doctor flat out refused, citing the dangers of getting addicted. So what does he do? He prescribes me effexor xr, tells me it's not addictive, and tells me it won't interact at all with alcohol. He tells me that it will eliminate my panic attacks and insomnia.

So I decide, what the hell, worth a try. I was on it for almost two years, worse decision ever. About a month after, I decide to walk to the club and have some fun. Blacked out and woke up in the drunk tank. Apparently after a few beers I decided it would be cool to start bashing my head into a wall, so the bartender got freaked out and called the cops. Didn't want to press charges, since it was a brick wall, no harm no foul, eh? I don't remember anything after ordering my second beer, I found that out from the bartender a few days later. It wasn't really helping at all, so after a few months he doubled the dosage. This happened again twice.

After the two years or so, I noticed I was never happy, I really didn't feel much of anything at all. I lost my grandmother, and didn't even feel sad enough to cry about it. I also had anorgasmia I think it is called. The only emotions I still could feel was anger and self-hate. They were severe when I felt them. I did a bunch of research, it seemed to me, that people that tapered it down all slow like, had all the same withdrawal symptoms as those that just stopped, except they dragged it on over the course of a year. So I just stopped. It was a hell of two months for sure, but eventually went away, mostly.

That was about 3 years ago, I still can't say I feel normal, but I don't feel like a total angerbot anymore at least. That is my story with anxiety, still can't get no damn lorazepam prescription.

Don't know if "hitting the bong" is helping you or hurting you.

As for the lorazepam, or clonipin, or any of those drugs - if your Canadian GP won't help you, then find another doctor in Canada, preferably a psychiatrist, who likely will prescribe what you need, and perhaps help you with talk therapy to get through your issues.

I have had anxiety issues for most of my life (I am 52 now, male) and only within the last 15 did I realize that the anxiety disorder was causing my problems. I am far from cured, but I can manage on the drugs I have and I have spend more than a year in psychiatric therapy which has helped me to realize who I am and what I am afraid of. You might do the same.

Hitting the bong don't effect me at all, I quit doing it. Four times in a row, four different kinds of weed getting full blown attacks was enough for me.

Are psychiatrists covered by regular medical coverage up here?