Depression and Paranoia

I lately feel like I am losing my mind or will lose my mind. There is something very upsetting which happens with me that I am struggling to get a handle of. Throughout the day my mind races from topic to topic, but usually cycles through similar ones over and over. I have many depressing thoughts about

Western society as a whole. I keep reading and researching articles online about how the social climate is much better in Europe; as it is more family centered and a collective community. Everywhere I go I see paranoia and individualism in America. I keep noticing how competitive, envious, "ice-walled" people are to eachother; and its just miserable.

Whenever I go to the gym - that is always the worst place for me, as people there I find rude, conceited, snobbish and generally no one talks to/with eachother. This links with above.

Seeing drugs and alcohol everywhere/ fat americans and people with no ambitions, disciplines, etc. Rude people.

Just a solitary mindset people seem to have. This is so lonely to me. At times I often daydream and wish I could just move to Europe or some other place where there aren't so many lonely souls. I often think how lonely I am.

It's hard to make friends here. I'll find myself dwelling and even obsessing on that Americans suck as friends. They don't even know what the term means I'm convinced. I haven't had a real good friend in over a decade. Nobody here, for the aformentioned reasons, makes friends with you because they don't put time/effort in to doing so.

I keep noticing more how manly and masculinized American women are, and quite frankly, obnoxious some of them are, and for almost ALL of them - how unapproachable they make themselves to be...I really feel sorry for American men. Even foreign men have noticed this, and dislike it. I look at European women who are still so feminine and beautiful and wish I could just get out of here.



When I don't sleep my thoughts turn to the paranoid. I keep retracing something over and over - did I make a mistake or not. I'll reanalyze things over and over and - at times I can't tell reality from my crazy paranoid fears in my head. I'll think things like everyone hates me. Or that they are talking about me behind my back. I'll extrapolate situations in my head and draw conclusions that may not be true. It feels very paranoia like. I hate this it is very scary.



...I don't want to be negative/depressed and unhappy. These are the things I think about when I go out, or am at home. They just cross my mind and try as I may I can't escape them. I keep running into them over and over which tells me they definitely exist.
I guess I just have to accept it - maybe I'm focusing too much exlusively on only the negative?
.....I also do this. I will sit down and just dwell on things and find things that bother me that are bad, and dwell on them with thought. I don't mean to do this but it just always happens. ... It's like I'm figuring something out or something. But I know it's not healthy. I'm working at stopping it. It's giving me a skewed view.


Any feedback or advice? Thanks.

Hi Eric, i really recommend you discuss your worries with a professional cuz paranoia is not a good state to live in! And, you may have a real hard time stopping these thoughts alone, and you deserve to get help and kick these thoughts for good, if possible!

The society...its not perfect anywhere, so, even if you moved to Europe, you may still have a hard time finding people you can resonate with etc. There is no country in the world that is ideal, i dont think. Maybe its a matter of finding good things about the place you live in, develop hobbies, etc, which is hard to do when you suffer from anxiety and depression. Maybe even save up and travel in the future, so you get a better idea of things. But, i think its all in the mind first, so maybe talk with a therapist, to find a solution together.