travel anxiety? sharing stories time

Hi everyone

Here we go again, flying into Singapore and Malaysia in a few days. Most people would think I am crazy, in fact I do also... I have anxiety over being an unwitting drug mule. This is nothing new, I remember I tied a million knots in my bag when travelling through China twenty odd years ago. Now I find I travel only with a hard suitcase, but I go to the extreme... i recognise how ridiculous I am, but I have to literally take the suitcase apart and put it back together to make sure there are no drugs in the tubing or anything! As everyone here with an excessive ocd or some other condition, the issue is my mind wanders and it all becomes too real which drives me to do these checks. The reasoning is, not that anyone wants to 'plant' drugs like luggage handlers, I go to the point of what if they were transporting the drugs hidden in an item, you bought it, and then unknowingly travelled through customs with it. With it being asia, they dont seem to care how you got them as you are the one going through with it, so its up to you to prove you had nothing to do with it and even then best of luck if you are the unfortunate person who was in this position

so theres why i am crazy, how about you guys/gals?

I don't travel much. But I experience a very similar thing on a daily basis. I am constantly terrified that I will be accused of something. This is pretty late in response but this is what I experience.

For example:
I will be walking around in a store pretty aimlessly because I'm fairly distractible. Soon every time I see a camera or see a worker I will think that they think I look suspicious. I will become extremely paranoid that I appear to be shoplifting and that they will apprehend me. Because I get nervous about this, I obviously display even more and more suspicious behavior, and it makes me even more nervous because I know that if anybody watched me or stopped me to question me that they would interpret my nervousness as guilt. So this generally ends in me trying to very obviously keep my hands in plain view and make direct eye contact which also looks really strange (especially for a 'shifty looking teen')

I've brought this up with my therapist a few different times and she asked me if I was concerned I would unintentionally shoplift or steal something and feel like I don't have control over it. I have no worry about actually stealing anything, I'm just immensely worried that somebody will become convinced that I have shoplifted and because I am nervous, when they apprehend me I will seem extremely guilty. (more and more as I try to defend myself)

It's very disturbing and although it generally apply's to shoplifting, it also includes passing police officers, going on walks in the dark, or other random innocent actions.
Does this sound similar to what you experience at all?