Feel weird being alive itself? Severe anxiety because of it?

For some reason, 4 months ago, I started thinking about life's existence. Like why we are here, ect. I would continue to deep think, and then that caused really strong Depersonalization and Derealization. Then, every day I would wake up and start thinking about that weird feeling, and I got into this cycle where I felt weird so much that I felt strange *being alive*. I started feeling super-conscious and super-aware of my own existence, and I started asking myself these weird questions like am I really a human? Is life all a game? And then, I became a Solipsist! (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism) I became this for a week, and I had to pull myself out of this. I continued to think about these weird questions, and I got into a loop of: Feel weird, ask questions, freak out, feel upset because I am questioning life itself, feel weird, repeat. I feel like I have two lives... One life is when I'm distracted from these feelings and I feel normal, and the second life filled with anxiety and self-awareness. I feel dread when I think ahead, and it's almost like I hate being alive! But that's crazy! I feel trapped in my own body! But all of this goes away 100% when I'm distracted. It's insane because I feel like I have to be distracted from my own thoughts in order to live. Sometimes I am able to let these thoughts be... But that only lasts a day or two. No matter how much I tell myself that these are just thoughts, I can't STAND feeling afraid of being alive. I can't relax because I know that I have these problems to be worried about. Are these anxiety symptoms? Thanks for reading. I needed to vent. Anyone else feel this way?

Hi there

I don't think you're alone in getting lost in these thoughts- they can be pretty overwhelming. I'm not a professional, but from experience, obsessing over things like that sounds like anxious thinking. I often get lost questioning things and it really makes my head spin when I get stuck on something. The depersonalisation/derealisation worsens the more anxious I become.

Have you ever thought about talking with a professional about things at all? Spending so much time worrying doesn't sound healthy.

Feel free to vent as much as you need.

Take care
Lily

I am dealing with the same thing. Have you managed to get better? I am scared I’ll never be able to be the same and enjoy life because i am scared of existence (

Irina999999 wrote:I am dealing with the same thing. Have you managed to get better? I am scared I’ll never be able to be the same and enjoy life because i am scared of existence (

The trouble with being alive is that eventually it ends. Even if you believe in an afterlife, it doesn't help, because this life ends, no living thing wants that.

Life is full of pain and suffering and something could happen at any moment. After a while you just have to turn your mind off- you have to make yourself not care. If I wanted to, I could sit and ruminate on everything from cancer to getting arrested to an asteroid hitting me to the supposed (secular notion) Heat Death of the Universe- but the only result is that I curl up into a fetal position and want to be miles underground in a vault which still isn't safe what if another star came by and wrested us out of orbit? Or we find out the hard way that we don't really know all that much about when a star is likely to go novae.

Consider the wisdom of Calvin:
http://new-universe.org/zenphoto/albums ... rams20.png