New to the forum- talking it out

Hello all! This is my first post.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a teenager and was prescribed anti anxiety medication and also opted to receive some therapy. My doctor at the time wanted me on meds for 6 mo to a year and then wean off of them. I was first on Prozac and it really made me feel like a zombie. Then I went on Effexor, which I suppose was somewhat better for me. At the time I was taking these meds I also dealt with my problems through alcohol which obviously wasn't the greatest decision. Anyway some time passed, I met the person who later became my husband and life seemed to be going pretty well! So I made the dumb decision to go off my meds- cold turkey. Didn't really feel any bad side effects so that was that. About a year into our marriage, my anxiety started returning in ways I hadn't experienced before. I went food shopping and had a horrible panic attack afterward- I even think I hallucinated after the panic attack. After that, I couldn't bring myself to go food shopping alone. I had and still have trouble making phone calls and talking to people. Going to the gas station is far too stressful. I even have trouble going to church- which really upsets me. I'm not sure if my anxiety worsened after stopping medication or if as I'm getting older and changing, my anxiety is getting worse. Because of my fears of talking to people on the phone, I haven't brought myself to call about making an appointment to see a specialist. I have emailed though, but to no avail. I am finally ready to do something about this though because I can see it's starting to take a toll on my husband- I'm sure he wishes I was more independent. And of course, so do I. I'm just frightened to do anything by myself or go anywhere new even with someone! All this really came to a head on a vacation we went on recently. It was a place we had been before so I was easily able to compare my anxiety then to what it is now and it has gotten astronomically worse. I was so self conscious walking into unfamiliar restaurants and locations. Anyway, if you have any advice or opinions on what might be happening with me, I'd love to hear it. Feel free to ask any questions. Thanks!

So I made the dumb decision to go off my meds- cold turkey.

Maybe you need to make an appointment with your doctor and go back on meds.