What a mess

Hello everyone. First time every posting here.

I have some questions, and who better to ask than others that suffer from some of the same things that I suffer from?

I have severe anxiety and panic attacks. I've had them for decades. I am 39 years old. It runs in my family as well.

I catch myself not breathing (holding my breath) constantly, my heart races and pounds in my chest, my thoughts race, mI have a hard time catching my breath, I clinch my fists and teeth together just while watching TV. My wife says the area between my neck and shoulders is like a rock, because I am so stressed and tense.

Anyway, long story short. I have battled with bouts of depression and insomnia, along with my anxiety.

I have been seeing my current psychiatrist for three years now. During the last 2 1/2 years, I have taken Xanax. Before that, I had a short trial with Ativan, but it did nothing for me. The xanax worked, but the dosage has climbed and climbed, and I notice that the calming effect only lasts a couple of hours now.

**Let me state this clearly now: I DO NOT TAKE DRUGS RECREATIONALLY**

So, anyway, I am was prescribed 1 mg of xanax 5 times a day! I also take 15mg of restoril at bed time. I was on welbutrin for about 5 months.

During my last visit with her on Monday, I told my Psychiatrist that the welbutrin wasn't working, as it was making me more anxious, made me gain 20 pounds, and killed what little was left of my sex drive.

I know that is the opposite of what welbutrin usually does to people, but that's what it did to me.

My psychiatrist didn't believe me at first. Telling me that "Oh stop! Welbutrin doesn't do that to people."

Because she wasn't listening to me, I started to freak out and I had a major panic attack in her office, but I calmed down. She witnessed it first hand.

Anyway, my Psychiatrist tells, "if you don't believe that the welbutrin is helping you, then stop taking it."

I was taking 150 xl every morning.

Now, here's the weird thing to me.....and it may be just me, because I am just some idiot that has high anxiety over everything but.....

She didn't replace it with anything.....

I still am depressed and I still have suicidal thoughts, and I told her all of this during my last session on Monday, but she didn't prescribe me another anti-depressant.

I even showed her the fresh cuts I made on my arm last week, and told her that I was having a hard time "getting in deep to my wrist".

Yesterday, I had to leave work, because I thought I was having a heart attack. My heart was pounding and, at first, felt like a regular panic attack.

But this one was different.....my chest was HURTING!!

After an EKG, and a discussion with my general doctor, it was discovered that it was just another panic attack, but a pretty bad one.

He was talking to me about my current situation. he said to me, "I look at you, and I see your legs always moving, I see your fists clenched up, I see that you talk real fast.....you're a wound up guy. I would have personally never have given you welbutrin, because that is for people that need a stimulant.......you clearly do not need a stimulant."

He then said that he didn't think that my medicine was handled right, when I told him that I was left without an anti-depressant. He said there are so many different types of anti depressents, there is no reason why I shouldn't have been put on another one before I left.

He asked me why I took the restoril. I told him that ever since I started taking the welbutrin, I had trouble sleeping more than normal. I always had trouble, but the welbutrin seemed to spike me up big time!

He then explained that it doesn't make sense, to him, that a psychiatrist would take someone that is already "wound up", give him a stimulant type of anti-depressant, and then, when he can't sleep, give him a sedative.

He was kind of confused.
I am even more confused....

So then we got into my xanax dosage. He told me that I am taking a lot of Xanax. He said that because I have GAD, xanax isn't the drug that he would have chosen for me.

His words:
"If I have a patient that doesn't like to fly, or doesn't like to go over bridges, I'd give them a xanax. Why? Because it's in your system quick and out in a couple of hours. A person in your condition should be on something that is longer lasting."

He suggested that I call my psychiatrist when I leave and ask for something longer lasting. And then tole me that if I don't like what I hear from her, to call him and he told me, "never think you are alone or that you are committed to one doctor!"

Basically, he's a hell of a guy!

So I called my Psychiatrist and she said she would call the pharmacist and see what she should put me on.....which I found odd.

That was yesterday.

I called her today at noon when I hadn't heard back and she said that the pharmacist is not in until 12pm and she will call me after she speaks to him.

So she called me back and said she was prescribing me .5 mg of klonopin 3 times a day. I told her that I read nearly everywhere that xanax and klonpin are 1:1 as far as dosages go, and if that would be enough. She said, "the pharmacist said that the 1.5mg of klonopin a day is the same as taking 5mg of Xanax a day."

Ok, so whatever.....I'm not a doctor....

So, people of this forum:

First question: Does my psychiatrist sound like a "bad egg"?

After my most recent suicide attempt on the 11th of this month, I started to see a psychologist as well, and she works in this big building where they have all sorts of psychologists, counselors, autisic specialists, marriage counselors, etc.

When I saw my psychologist on Tuesday, she stated to me that she didn't like how I was sent away without a new anti depressant, and was going to recommend to me that I see a psychiatrist in her building, this way they could keep in contact with each other.

~My psychologist has been trying to reach my psychiatrist for two weeks now but she never calls her back~

Anyway, my psychologist's concern was that she does not know of any psychiatrist in her building that would "give someone 5mg of xanax a day". I then started to freak! I asked her, "5mg is a lot? Is it too much? Oh my God!!!!"

She backed up a bit and said she's not a doctor and doesn't know but she didn't think any psychiatrist in that building would give that much xanax.

So that's my first question.......is my psychiatrist a bad egg? Should I look for another one? Now that I am on 1.5mg of klonopin a day (which I have NO IDEA if it even works yet, I haven't taken it yet) is that more of a "common" dose of benzos? Because my psychologist did make it sound that 5mg of xanax a day wasn't.

My second question: My psychiatrist said to me, "do not take the klonopin today. Wait until tomorrow to make sure that the xanax is out of your system.

This is confusing to me. I go to bed at 10pm. This is when I take 2mg of xanax and 15mg of restoril.
I wake up at 6am for work, so this would be the first time when I would take my klonopin.

The last xanax I took today was at 2pm (Yeah, I am going a little crazy already). Why can't I wait until 10pm and take the klonopin before I go to bed TONIGHT? It would be the same amount of time (8 hours)

Thank you for everyone that took the time to read. And thank you to anyone that responds.

FYI:
It took overnight for the mods to approve this topic, so the 2nd question really doesn't need any answering as I have already started taking the klonopin.

Thank you!

Hey could you reply to my thread? It's right under yours.

Hi Kaygee - Welcome to the forum.

Just my impression from what you've wrote, but it does sound as though this psychiatrist is not a good match for you. I'm not a professional, but I do find it very negligent that your psychiatrist would prescribe something that doesn't work well for you, and then not give anything else to take to help, even though you expressed how depressed and suicidal you were. And just from common sense, I wouldn't agree with giving someone with anxiety a stimulating drug either.

And that Xanax dosage is definitely a lot. I take 1 mg as needed, and it usually helps as much as I can expect it to. I can't imagine what 5 mg would feel like to me. Even though everyone is different on the dosages that they need, it's unusual for a doctor to so easily prescribe such a high dosage of Xanax, doctors are usually very hesitant and careful with benzodiazepines because of their addictive risk. It is true that Klonopin is usually better if you need to take something 24/7, as it is longer lasting. When I needed to take a benzo every day, I was given Klonopin. Xanax is better for situational anxiety, like that one doctor explained to you.

I'd take your psychologist up on her offer, and see a psychiatrist in her building, so the two can work together on your treatment plan. I tend to dump psychiatrists quickly if I find them a bad match for me, because I think it's really important to be able to trust your doctor and question them and understand why they are prescribing what they are. Medications can be serious business, so it's important to understand what's happening and have them listen to you. And don't be afraid to question a doctor about what they are prescribing. I never questioned at first, I just trusted blindly, but after all my experience with different meds, I'm finally learning to say what I want and don't want.

Brushogun wrote:Hey could you reply to my thread? It's right under yours.

Hi Brushogun, can you please refrain from posting in other people's threads just to ask them to respond to yours, we don't want those types of requests on other people's threads. Each person's thread is for focus on their own issue. Thanks.

- EGD.

EarlGreyDregs wrote:Hi Kaygee - Welcome to the forum.

Just my impression from what you've wrote, but it does sound as though this psychiatrist is not a good match for you. I'm not a professional, but I do find it very negligent that your psychiatrist would prescribe something that doesn't work well for you, and then not give anything else to take to help, even though you expressed how depressed and suicidal you were. And just from common sense, I wouldn't agree with giving someone with anxiety a stimulating drug either.

And that Xanax dosage is definitely a lot. I take 1 mg as needed, and it usually helps as much as I can expect it to. I can't imagine what 5 mg would feel like to me. Even though everyone is different on the dosages that they need, it's unusual for a doctor to so easily prescribe such a high dosage of Xanax, doctors are usually very hesitant and careful with benzodiazepines because of their addictive risk. It is true that Klonopin is usually better if you need to take something 24/7, as it is longer lasting. When I needed to take a benzo every day, I was given Klonopin. Xanax is better for situational anxiety, like that one doctor explained to you.

I'd take your psychologist up on her offer, and see a psychiatrist in her building, so the two can work together on your treatment plan. I tend to dump psychiatrists quickly if I find them a bad match for me, because I think it's really important to be able to trust your doctor and question them and understand why they are prescribing what they are. Medications can be serious business, so it's important to understand what's happening and have them listen to you. And don't be afraid to question a doctor about what they are prescribing. I never questioned at first, I just trusted blindly, but after all my experience with different meds, I'm finally learning to say what I want and don't want. - EGD.

Thanks for your reply,

It's been a really rough weekend. I have been so sick from withdrawl symptoms from being without the Xanax.

I called my Psychiatrist last night, after my second straight night without sleep, because I have been up since FRIDAY!!!!

She calls me and tells me to "go back on the Xanax". I told her that i didn't want to go back on the Xanax, because I am going thru withdrawl right now, and the Xanax weren't working anymore anyway, so I will just be prolonging this HELL that I have been going thru all weekend!

She continued to insist to go back on the Xanax. I told her about my symptoms and she said that I shouldn't be having any withdrawl symptoms because she replaced the Xanax with another Bezo.

I didn't want to argue with her, but that's what I have been reading. I have been reading that no matter what, I would feel the withdrawl effects of Xanax.

After a stern conversation with her, she told me to try to take another .5mg of klonopin at my next dosage and call her......so I'll be doing that.

But, I think you're right, I think I need to move on from this one.

Thank you!

Hopefully you'll get over the withdrawal from the Xanax soon. And I hope you can find another, better psychiatrist as well!

- EGD.