Worried about holidays

Does anyone worry about this? As much as I hate work, I hate holidays even more because I have no interest in anythng anymore and when I know a holiday is approaching I fear it because I get terribly depressed due to doing nothing but I only do nothing because I lose interest in everything and also I am to scared to do anything at times aswell. I had a 3 day weekend holiday last month, it was awful, i would lay in bed till 3pm, i didnt want to lay in bed but i didnt want to get out of bed either, i just wanted the day to be over and then dreaded the next day coming with nothing to do. My social anxiety stops me from doing alot because if I get an idea ill goto the shop to buy soemthing i then immediately get scared of all the people that will be in the shop when I get there so if I dont chicken out then i end up forcing myself to do it and regret it afterwards aswell. When im depressed its even worse, i just cant go anywhere without wearing my sunglasses, and its weird, although people cant see my eyes this way they still look at me like im nothing but a depressed worthless piece of trash, I guess my face id drooped down and they read it this way instead. Anyway holidays really scare me, how about you?

"Worthless piece of trash" Sounds familiar! That's how I felt about myself most of my life.
*mod edit*, and try 5-HTP supplements. It's available in retail stores and online, if you're too embarrassed to go to a store.

If you do try it, wait until you have several days off to adjust. Follow manufacturer's guidelines at initiation, and take with food as it is a stomach irritant.

I was surprised to discover my own worth within my perceptions. You may find that you are much more than you think you are.

Affirmation song: "I'm Awesome" by Spose.

I am not a doctor, I just play one in real life on myself!

Yes, I get worked up about the Holidays, true that. I'm going to try and let my true feelings come out on this one. I recently moved across country to start graduate school, and this Christmas I will be flying back. What is everybody going to think of me? Are they going to approach me as a capable young man with real abilities and real feelings and a real masculine ego, or will they go back to approaching me as a helpless child? They seem to think that they are "above" me in some undefined way because of my anxiety. They think that I am the "cute little puppy dog" of the family who does have emotions, but that these emotions are in a different language then their native tongue so it would be impossible to offend me in any conventional sense. This is not the case, I am a real person. It's clear as day.

Good luck with the upcoming Holidays everybody! It sounds like most of us are going to need it.

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

patm3300 wrote:They seem to think that they are "above" me in some undefined way because of my anxiety.

Its because they dont understamd, nobody understands it unless they have mental illness themselves. I to am around a person who doesnt understand, doesnt have time for it or me, these days I am becoming more and more isolated, I spend most of my days alone, its the only way to survive in this world I have now learnt

Damaged1 wrote:"Worthless piece of trash" Sounds familiar! That's how I felt about myself most of my life.
*mod edit*, and try 5-HTP supplements. It's available in retail stores and online, if you're too embarrassed to go to a store.

If you do try it, wait until you have several days off to adjust. Follow manufacturer's guidelines at initiation, and take with food as it is a stomach irritant.

I was surprised to discover my own worth within my perceptions. You may find that you are much more than you think you are.

Affirmation song: "I'm Awesome" by Spose.

I am not a doctor, I just play one in real life on myself!

heard about 5-htp but did not know much about it. Some info on droz website, he's got a tv show in the USA, and it says this about 5HTP

"5-HTP has been known in increase suicidal ideation."

Folks on depression meds need to know this before jumping and should do their research.

Thanks for that info as it might be viable for some no doubt.

"theresnohope" I HEAR YOU unfortunately and feel for you!

In my late teens I remember being so down and sad during celebrations, holidays etc and have no idea why or where it all came from.

I'm not a victim of any physical abuse from my parents or anyone and don't have recollection of any sexual abuse although I can remember from a very young age being interested in sex.

For some reason I've never had an easy fun time buying presents, and even recall and still do, feeling guilt when getting presents even at a young age. That feeling of I'm not worthy of this I guess...

Therefore I've never like buying gifts for others and have to force myself to do it most of the time. There have been moments.. times when I may have found some enjoyment like when my kids were very young.

Holidays, birthdays, celebrations etc.. every year for so many years I just want to skip it all.

It's very difficult as my girlfriend of 10 years, who had a terrible childhood and up bringing, loves holidays and enjoys it. This years, she says she's wanting less stress and so far it looks like were going to do our own thing and kind of opt out of it all.

In the end I don't think she can do it and won't be able to stick to it but I'm so wanting to .

After losing both my parents 3 years ago and having no relatives, other than my older schizo sister who lives with us, or real friends in Las Vegas I just want to be alone.

Aside from sending a few cards to real close family and grilling some steaks for Thanksgiving because I'm tired of tradition my plans are to lay low.

It's hard though..went to a movie today and here come the promos for all the holiday Christmas movies.. and they're everywhere on TV now as well.