Biological women and "GID"

Hey all -

I'm wondering if biological women who realized early on their unfortunate "place" in society develop "gender identity disorder" in order to try to escape this realization. I know - much progress has been made in terms of womens' rights - but in my opinion, just being a girl puts you on a different playing field. You can't be neutral as a woman. You are subject to being talked down to, judged, stared at, check out, raped, mistreated, ignored (yeah - males don't make eye contact with me because I refuse to flirt and be a flimsy object, but admittedly I also am a bit bitter towards men due to the way I was mistreated by my father).

It isn't that I want to be a manly man - I simply want to have the luxury of blending in, being a neutral human, being able to put on simple, practical clothing without seeming strange, being respected as an equal and not a purely sexual being among colleagues. Merely existing in this world as a female makes me insecure because I'm an object of others' gaze. If only I could walk into a room without being judged.

I'd do anything to be a male.

Hi Bextehude, Having read your post, I don't think you are suffering from GID. I think you are living in a society where women are seen as inferior to men, and you dislike the way you are being treated by those men. I don't know if you live in a society where women don't have many rights(other than to serve men), but from what you say, I think your problem lies in your resentment about being a woman because men don't respect you. If you are happy with your body the way it is, regardless of what others think, then I personally think you just feel repressed by the attitudes of men.

If you are being sexually harassed in the work place, there are steps you can take.

There are many women who resent the day-in-day-out sexisim and become envious of the men's freedom to be taken seriously.

There are many men who resent constantly having to be the best, on the move, dominant, etc and become envious of women, since they're allowed to just "be" in a way.

Then there are FTMS, whether they're aware of their situation or not, but really are in the wrong body. Likewise, there are MTFs to can't tolerate being in the wrong body as well.

Sadly much of Feminism, although its maturing, is ignorant of this difference and has assumed that FTMs must feel as you do.

I also agree with Trojan and Euler.

If only I could walk into a room without being judged.

I'd do anything to be a male.

You will be judged as a male, just not for being female. It can be for anything. Your skin color, your shoes, your clothes, your economic status. Anything. So while it seems to suck to be female in a lot of situations that in of itself does not make you "develop GID".

When I sit around a table with males and females equivalent in my professional status, in my mind I am male. Not because I want to be equal because I am male. I do not often identify with women. I do not think they are less than men or less than me either.

I think what you want is equality not a different gender?

Sam

I suppose I can see where everyone is coming from. The problem is that I am so, so aware of this that I feel very confused. Often I have no idea what to wear because it seems impossible to wear something neutral as a girl. I just don't like having my body and its curves (though they are very slight). So that leads me to think I would prefer to be a man.

^ I can seriously relate to you.

Before, years before I realized I was trans I noticed that I had a sincere hatred for the male gender role. In part because it wasn't me so instead of it coming natural I felt like I was faking it.

Another part was, that like you, I wanted equality and couldn't let go of the fact that most women want to break down the gender roles that don't benefit them but demand rigid gender roles where it does benefit them, like intimacy, for example.

I studied masculinity theory as well as afrocentric and chicana feminism and the like. Personally, I found myself envious of androgynous women, their clothing, and their demeanor and wasn't comfortable wearing men's clothing since it "wasn't neutral enough".

Some time later I was introduced to bigenderism, and from there the trans community and the other varieties of genderqueer.

I'd think more about this if I were you. You could very well be just a radical feminist, or you could have repressed gender dysphoria that's expressed through feminist theory. Vice-versa was my deal.

suppose I can see where everyone is coming from. The problem is that I am so, so aware of this that I feel very confused. Often I have no idea what to wear because it seems impossible to wear something neutral as a girl. I just don't like having my body and its curves (though they are very slight). So that leads me to think I would prefer to be a man.

I can relate as well. I know what you mean. I have gained weight over the years esp since having kids. And I hate the weight. But I'm not ana or anything. And I did recently realize that the female weight distribution is what bugs me. I want my H's beer belly, lol.

I agree with the clothing problem too. It is so frustrating. Esp because a lot of male GN clothing isn't small enough, well in particular, shoes. And they are not cut for the female weight distribution.

It is ok to feel gender neutral too. Remember 2 genders is only one way of thinking about it. Keep exploring. Re your other post about the acting, can you explore this more? Is there a way you can feel comfortable taking/auditioning for the male roles? Are you in a big city where there might be a larger LGBTQ community which might have more flexible acting groups?

Keep talking here tho, it sounds like talking it out is helping?
Sam

Thank you for the replies.

Sam - you are right, talking it out is helpful. I'm sorry that you aren't comfortable in your own body. That is a difficult situation. A beer belly! Hahaha. It's a little laughable but in all seriousness, I understand what you mean.

Sometimes I am convinced I have gender dysphoria because I remember always looking at men and just envying them so much since I was a child. I see them with their straight bodies, their simple, comfortable, and sturdy clothing (I can wear that clothing but not without being stared at). The ease with which they sit and walk. Their facial hair. Their ability to take off a shirt on the beach. I think half my problems in life would evaporate if I was born a male.

Because I am a female and I am not comfortable being one, I see the world as coming AT me rather than me existing in the world and interacting with it. I hate my body because it isn't a man's.

The only time being a woman seems right for me is when I'm in bed with a girl I am dating.

These thoughts have bubbled up because I have gained courage very quickly to speak my mind. This sounds like more than feminism to me.

Based on what you've described, you don't qualify for the diagnosis of "GID". A diagnosis is not made and treatment is not given to women who would rather be men due to their role in society. You are not transsexual in my perspective, you are just a gender-nonconforming woman who wants male privilege.

No one develops transsexualism over time and no one chooses it. We are born with it. Studies have shown it is a physical brain-body mismatch; literally a male brain in a female body or vice-versa. This physical mismatch has been seen in autopsies, since the part of the brain which determines gender is only accessible after death.

Do you experience body dysphoria?

Okay, thanks for the distinction. I didn't quite understand that.

Yeah I do experience body dysphoria.