I just decided to change my gender after 60 years of GID.

At about age 5 I became a transvestic fetishist. At age 12 or so I started having orgasms while crossdressing. My parents caught me the first time I got into my mother's bureau and they went ballistic. Faced with this opposition I took an approach of not discussing it with anyone. The first time I mentioned it to someone it was when I went into University Health at Yale when I was a freshman, on a visit to a mental health worker just for the purpose of discussing this. She wasn't helpful. One year out of college I became mentally ill. This made success impossible. I believe now I am GID and that the tensions of not knowing it brought on the mental illness (originally manic depressive and schizophrenic, now just schizophrenic.)

I read that almost all those with transvestic fetishism are not GID. If I am, it's an exception.

I recently moved into a nice senior subsidized apartment and my income is social security disability income from my mental illness disability. I have started on a path of purchasing female clothing onlline. This has improved my general feeling of well-being remarkably. I soon realized that I was learning female responsiveness from the need to engage my female clothes into my lifestyle. It goes way beyond the fetish.

Having said that, I'd like to know if I can get some suggestions for my immediate needs, and also for the longer-term problems. I live in Chicago, IL. Is it legal to cross dress in public here? Would I be permitted to use female restrooms?

On the longer-term problems, will Medicaid in Illinois cover sex reassignment surgery? I have Medicare also but I know they won't cover it. Will either cover hormone therapy? What are the laws in Illinois regarding changing one"s name?

Thank you very much.

Hi glenellyngirl

You pose a lot of interesting questions, which unfortunately I think are hard to answer unless the responder lives in illinois. I am pretty sure however that you will be able to cross-dress in public. I am not certain though that you can use a women's restroom though. YOu can call medicaid and ask them about your concerns.

I am happy to know dressing as a female makes you feel better. It is funny, I find, that something as simple as clothing and a haircut can make all the difference!

Good luck and keep posting!
Sam

Thanks, Sam. I see now you replied to two of my three posts. Very upbeat attitude from you helps me orient myself. Thanks so much!

glenellyngirl wrote:On the longer-term problems, will Medicaid in Illinois cover sex reassignment surgery? I have Medicare also but I know they won't cover it. Will either cover hormone therapy? What are the laws in Illinois regarding changing one"s name?

Thank you very much.

Hello glenellyngirl,

From my understanding Medicaid won't pay for the surgery in any of the 50 states. Although, I've known many transsexuals who were getting their hormones and doctor bills paid this way, though.

I had once mentioned this on another thread I believe, but a transsexual friend of mine told me one of her friends in Georgia was receiving SSI and Medicaid while living in housing for the elderly and disabled. According to her, her elderly neighbors knew about all of this and weren't buying it she was legitimately disabled but merely acting out a fantasy - in other words defrauding the Social Security - and she said they got their church group together to form a petition to submit to SSA accusing her of fraud. I don't know what happened after that. Ironically, this TS friend never mentioned her again. Maybe they are no longer friends. I don't really know.

Although, my advice is to be careful about it and be more discreet about how you are getting things paid for. That's what most of them do. I don't know why this transsexual in particular let everyone know her business and didn't heed the "be discreet" advice.

One thing I am finding is that there is a change to be made from being centered on transvestic orgasms and the complete alpha to omega of clothing, to being centered on the physical body and its needs from waking to going to bed. This is a matter of learning to respond as a female to people all day long and beginning to see that I will only be successful in the change if I can adapt to having permanent relationships with both men and women as a female, and forging a career based on that rather than on what I have done in the past.

How's it going glennellyngirl.?

Sam

I think to be successful in transition, you basically have to forget you had a past. Just a shame that everyone else involved in our lives can't do that.

Hi Sam. Last Tuesday I had my first screening with a doctor at a health center for transgenders. It went fabulously. He said I passed through the first hoop. The remaining hoops are a big unknown as far as whether I will pass through them. I take warfarin because my cardiologist is worried about my blood clotting. Estrogen stimulates clotting. There is also an issue with the liver and I may fail for that reason. I haven't settled in my mind whether I will continue to crossdress if I can't take hormones. But there's no sense building up fear and dread yet, I just have to wait until the results are in.

Trojan's suggestion has some merit. I think the people I know from the past represent the biggest fear I have. Fortunately I had the good sense not to get married.

Glenellygirl, my past is something I wish would leave me alone. Unfortunately, there are some people in my home town who I didn't mention about my transition to, and when I see them(not very often fortunately), it's kind of funny, but also scary incase they recognise me.

Trojan,
Yes, I also dread arrivals now. And you bring up the point that it does make a difference whether they already know and then at least there is no surprise element, which for some reason seems to add to the sting when you see how they react.

At least I have been in public in the big city enough now that the balance of excitement and terror is much reduced as a key element. But that first day is one that I will think back on forevermore as the greatest day of my life.