Too confused.

Hey, I'm new! I was born female and until the age of 14 was reasonably happy with that, but since 14 I have become steadily more and more confused about my gender. I'm now 23 and I haven't got a clue who I am or what I'm doing. I'm constantly alternating between feeling inherently male and then feeling perfectly fine as a woman, over and over and over again. I guess the natural conclusion to draw from this would be that I'm two spirit or bigender or whatever you wanna call it, but the idea of signing myself up to THIS forever is horrifically depressing.
Thats the other thing, I used to be really happy and active and creative and a nice person, this whole thing is just turning me into a ######6 wreck. I'm lazy and depressed and I don't have any drive anymore, its like I've unwillingly given up already. I'm just so tired of being THIS confused. I don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about suicide, even if its in a reasonably blase and dismissive fashion, I just can't carry on feeling this way, I don't want to always be torn in two, what the hell do I do?

I think that already read this somewhere at the forum..what is the idea ?