Um... this is weird, but ... hear me out??

well i've always been bisexual, and i am NOT ashamed of it as of late. born female, but i've always identified slighlty better with the male gender. it wasn't until i started having sex with guys that i even considered "getting in touch with the inner gal." i'm pregnant with a douchebag's kid (who ran off... the state will have a few words with him legally when they find him...) and i feel disgusting, not just from the normal aches and pains and "i'm fat" but because i don't feel... female! its hard to explain...

but this is the REAL issue:

lately i've been having very, very vivid and intense dreams about sex, but as a man. i have a penis, i ejaculate and can feel every sensation as if it were physically mine. this has triggered intense urges to penetrate partners as opposed to being penetrated. prosthetics (dildos, strap-ons and the like) are interesting and keep the urge in check, but it doesn't seem to be enough! i wake up masturbating to an imaginary organ (a penis that obviously isn't there...) after these dreams and feel incredibly sexually frustrated.

way weird, and a little embarrassing. am i alone? is there a word for this (some kind of fetish maybe???) i'm not sure which gender i can identify as, especially with all this!!

can't help that's it ! hehehe

I masterbate with an imaginary vagina, and i can feel all the sensations... >.< I don't have a real vagina -sigh-

Hi, Synesthesia! Maybe you're having these dreams because you're feeling nervous about the pregnancy and birth, and this is how your mind is coping with the stress.

No, that's not weird at all. That's not stress, issues with the pregnancy, or anything of the sort.

I can't tell you what your identity is but I'd def. check out the possibility that you're possibly trans. Check out bigenderism and other forms of genderqueer. There's no correct one-box-fits-all kinda thing, but the shadow genitals experience is quite common.

shadow genitalia! what a great term for it!! bigenderism sounds like a good research topic too! thanks!!