What in the world does that mean?

Hi to all... first time here…
After many years of suppressing and subduing my inner thoughts and feelings, I’ve somehow managed to begin to reach out to figure me out… I’ve done quite a bit of researching and reading trying to connect the dots with what I’m feeling and I’m discovering a lot but the more answers I find the more questions surface… I’ve located and visited several support focused sites and its comforting and settling to learn that there is a genuine desire to help each other with shared experiences… The common theme seems to be that I should seek and receive professional help to really discover what’s at the core… with a bit of hesitation I’ve found a psychiatrist with the experience and people skills I think I can work together with… will see, my initial session will be later this month…“ comprehensive” as it was called… most of you have perhaps already arrived at this juncture on the path and have gone forth… anyway, at the end of the day, I believe I have gender identity disorder and this is what I am seeking help for professionally… I discovered this site and am drawn to it because it has a specific focus area for GID… Anyway, what I’m struggling with is that I was born a male in a physical way but my inner gender is female…where I feel I fit, what makes me feel right is that my gender is female and my sex is male and female simultaneously… what in the world does that mean? Does anyone else identify with this?
Kriss

Hey Kriss,

This is indeed a focussed area for GID, but it isn't active too much. I have met people here over the years, but never really at the same time, if you know what I mean. They have all come and gone separately. Most - as I recall - were in your position - i.e. female trapped inside a male physical body. One such person that i met is in the process of seeking a sex-change operation ('she' has been taking female hormones for years already and is being assessed by her psychiatrist).

In this day and age, things are possible that weren't decades ago. So, although it would be a lengthy process, I do'nt believe anyone could morally prevent you from seeking out the body you feel most comfortable in. Of course, some people would never allow anyone do such a thing, but they're just ignorant. You know yourself better than anyone else, Kriss, so please have a long think about this and decide what to do. Please don't get trapped in a state of limbo whereby you'll only regret never making a firm decision about this. If you can be happy leaving things as they are, then great. However, if you suspect that you'd be happier with a different body, then raise the issue with your doctor when you see him/her later this month.

Kevin

Hey Kevin,
Thank you for your comments they are well received... yes, am thinking you have seen many come and go... thanks for being a constant on the site and not only going the distance but the extra mile... you make a difference...
Yes, am really struggling with what I am and what will make me happy... am hopeful after working with a professional in GID, I will have a better perspective and understanding of myself... but yes, at the end of the day it is I that must determine what it is that makes me happy... the worlds mold of what I am is going to be difficult to break... and gosh, I dread the thought of being in a state of limbo as you have mentioned... time certainly passes by quickly

Well, I learned from an early age not to leave important decisions to chance. These days, I just 'seize the day', genuinely so. I think I've faired well to have learned to do this, given that I'm only 27. How do you believe those around you would react to your wishes? I have heard both good and bad stories in relation to this. The person I referred to in my previous post was lucky enough to have a very understanding family. 'She' has a sister too, who is now happily embracing her her new sister (and no longer her brother). They even go out shopping together now.

If you do encounter anyone who doesn't agree with you, then just ignore them and cut them out of your life. We have no time for such people.

Kevin

Hey Kev... thanks for the reply... was thinking of shifting to another area on the site coz you mentioned this one is not visited much by others... anyway, how would those around me react to my desires? I try not to prejudge or stereotype or anticipate their reaction but one can have some insight based on being around and living with people... am thinking they would completely freak out and I don’t know how it would blossom from there... I don’t want to seem selfish, but am tired of always being so worried about what others think and their feelings... but truly what I do will have an impact on others... its a law of nature... action / reaction... I am drawn to transgenders because that’s what I indentify with although open minded and can live in harmony with most any lifestyle...
Have you ever travelled to a foreign country on your own and don’t really speak the native language well and are unfamiliar with your surroundings... and then you somehow connect with someone that speaks your language and understands you... you gravitate and are drawn to that feeling of comfort and safety and happiness... that’s how I feel...

Hey,

Your analogy about your situation (i.e. going to a foreign country on your own, etc) is a good one. There are many who must feel like that despite being in their home country, and for many different reasons. I somewhat felt it while living in Ireland, but I actually feel more at home here in England (there IS a difference - trust me). Still, I have more migrating to do when I'm older, and will in fact be going to South America later this year on my own to meet a girl. I speak some Spanish though, and am brushing up with private lessons right now.

You shouldn't worry about how others perceive you too much. You're existing in this world and there's nothing anyone can do about that. You're here to stay, whether they like it or not. Also thinking about how your actions can affect others isn't ideal, because then you'll just become scared of hurting everyone. Hurting people happens... we cannot prevent it every time. If you try to not hurt everyone you encountter in your life, then in fact the only person you'll be hurting is yourself in the long term.

Kevin

Hey Kev... Hope all is well and you enjoyed a great weekend... thanks for your comments...sounds like you have been travelling a bit as well... yes, you can identify with my analogy well... makes me feel good that you understand... the second part of your reply really hit home within so to speak “ worry about how others perceive me and the impact my actions have on them”... yeah, I don’t when I fell into this trap but have been struggling my entire life with it and its a formidable internal barrier to overcome.... hopefully the psychiatrist will be able to help me sort through this... indeed a lot of baggage to sort through... we all have our own travel suit cases full of assorted experiences... well I’ve been to the UK but not South America... perhaps one day “ Matchu Pichu would be one of the first to experience and absorb... yes, the language is always an important ingredient while travelling abroad... communication is almost essential... perhaps one day everyone will have discovered an ability within to communicate through thought transference... language will be universal... giggle, yeah that’s a bit off the chart...

Id argue that there are already some out there who can read minds, but maybe not so much at will - i.e it's not something they can control too well. Exchanging actual thoughts at will is a long way down the evolutionary tree I feel! Oh, make sure you bring up that other issue with your psychiatrist, because otherwise it might be brushed over. You have to be the one to tell him/her what is important to work on, and not vice-versa.

Kevin

Yes, great point about articulating what’s important to work on with the psychiatrist... I am making a list of points to bring with me so I don’t forget... kind of my plan is for the psychiatrist to gather my info through whatever method he has, then have him analyze that info based on his training and experience, provide me with his findings and then share some courses of action as to how to move forward... ( is this kind of how I should go about this?) also, is this first session going to be just info gathering on the psychiatrist part, I mean, should I anticipate or expect any preliminary answers? I found your comments about thought transference interesting... most people I share my esoterical thoughts with just kind of let the breeze blow on through... I believe that we incarnate again and again into this world to experience, learn and grow setting conditions for us to make choices and move forward no matter how minuscule... we are all on different rungs of the ladder so to speak some further than others on the path... I believe we alternate genders during incarnations but am not confident the randomness of how often... perhaps it has something to do with what we are to accomplish in any one incarnation.... anyway, in my case, I believe I’m in some kind of transition meaning during this incarnation I was born female gendered an desire to express this outwardly but somehow the male sex is what manifested physically... yeah, I know... this is a bit over the top but its one of the things I think about to try to understand “me”

Kriss, indeed the first session will most likely be just a 'welcoming', and you'll be asked questions about what areas you particularly want to work on. So, a lot might actually be covered in the first session, with regards to what problems will be looked at. I cannot admit to the idea of incarnations (but, again, i'm not actually sure what you mean by that...), but I do strongly believe what I said about thought transference.

Anyway, I reckon you should bring your list to the first session. It's likely that's where it'll be most useful.

Kevin